Work, Management Pranks Meritocracy is a lie

Meritocracy is a lie

Anonymous - 30/05/2023 00:02

Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Meritocracy

Anonymous - 04/12/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss brought his son in as our new manager. This kid has zero experience in our industry and yet waltzed into a £75,000 job where his sole responsibility is telling me how to do a skilled job I started before he was born. Plus half the stuff he tries to tell me is incorrect. Cretin. FML

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Workplace etiquette

Anonymous - 04/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML

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Poorman - 11/12/2011 01:03 - United Kingdom

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

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texasbest - 02/09/2015 02:39 - United States - Lindale

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

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Grammar rules, OK!

Anonymous - 21/09/2011 12:11 - United States

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

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Pleased to meet you

Anonymous - 25/08/2012 00:20 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

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Bunch of NPCs

Anonymous - 24/06/2022 16:00

Today, my manager sat me down and insinuated that it's my fault that our new hires are useless. Not one person ever told me that I was responsible for training them. I'm not in charge, and they've been here for weeks. FML

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Suck up

Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

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Goofs and gaffes

Chelsea - 23/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML

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What were you thinking?

Anonymous - 20/04/2016 10:04 - Australia - Brunswick

Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML

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poopface82 23

Tuesday 30 May 2023 4:08

Is his last name by chance the same as the CEO’s?

Lolamae 9

Tuesday 30 May 2023 1:29

He may be your manager, but he is hardly your superior.

Lolamae 9

Tuesday 30 May 2023 1:29

He may be your manager, but he is hardly your superior.

poopface82 23

Tuesday 30 May 2023 4:08

Is his last name by chance the same as the CEO’s?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 30 May 2023 6:10

Respect my authoritah!

mccuish 25

Tuesday 30 May 2023 7:31

Seems like someone who got special treatment

Chazzster 29

Tuesday 30 May 2023 16:45

My personal experience is that when your company hires an incompetent and inexperienced manager it’s time to head for the door. That often precedes a death spiral and you really don’t want to go down with that ship… Don’t make waves, keep it quiet, just get the resumes out and go on interviews - Then when you find a good job simply exit with grace.