Miscellaneous, Cooking Fire Melting - FML

Melting

Smoke Undetected - 13/10/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out that our smoke detector doesn't work when my roommate turned on the wrong burner while trying to cook. Our air fryer was on said burner, and it started to melt. It sat there for who knows how long until I noticed smoke everywhere and went to investigate. We don't have an air fryer now. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Lea - 16/01/2012 20:18 - Denmark

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

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chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

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cnkk07 - 14/10/2011 10:36 - United States

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

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im_a_mocker - 28/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

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Safety test

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML

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Roasted

Whitley - 04/11/2010 15:17 - United States

Today, I made salmon patties and boiled cabbage. I smelled smoke from my stove burner, but thought I spilled something in the burner. No big deal. Later, this horrible smell started coming from the stove. My husband took the stove apart, only to find that I had fried a mouse as well. FML

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Emergency cooking

YoshiSqu4d - 31/07/2020 20:01

Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML

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Fire hazard

ThankfullyNotKickedOut - 26/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Coldwater

Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML

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Shocking!

Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

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neednewfriends - 19/12/2009 23:21 - United States

Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Friday 14 October 2022 0:46

You don't think you have an air fryer, but if you have a Yeti cooler and a blow dryer, you do! (A heat gun would be even better.)

Anderling 32

Friday 14 October 2022 15:03

Not gonna lie, that one’s on you for choosing the absolute worst spot to put anything.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 14 October 2022 0:46

You don't think you have an air fryer, but if you have a Yeti cooler and a blow dryer, you do! (A heat gun would be even better.)

Anderling 32

Friday 14 October 2022 15:03

Not gonna lie, that one’s on you for choosing the absolute worst spot to put anything.

Battousai124 8

Friday 14 October 2022 15:37

How have you burned your place down yet??? I would NEVER EVER put anything like that on the stove for storage purposes.

Yudith 25

Friday 14 October 2022 18:56

Fortunately, OP doesn't have a stove anymore.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom made the (not) very wise decision to once again inform me that my grandma is in rapidly declining health, and as a result she is not long for this world. My brain took this as an opportunity to push my anxiety into overdrive. I can't stop thinking about what will happen when my grandma dies. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

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Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

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Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

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Today, I spent ten minutes comforting a patient’s family member, reassuring them everything was under control. When I went to leave, I realized I’d been leaning on the call button the entire time. Three other nurses ran in ready for an emergency while I was mid-sentence about coping strategies. FML

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Today, I finally decided to go Christmas shopping. It's only once I arrived that I realized that I had forgotten my wallet. FML

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