Intimacy Make it stop

Make it stop

ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass - 25/05/2009 08:54 - United States

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

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bitchasaurusrex - 15/02/2011 21:24 - Canada

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

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Make it stop, please

Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

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Great chat!

eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

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Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

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Stop talking, stop talking now

Anonymous - 14/06/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

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Handy

Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

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Sinking feeling

aftermath1991 - 03/09/2009 07:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML

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All figured out

Toroka - 29/07/2016 18:59

Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML

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ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

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MrJentipede 2

Monday 25 May 2009 16:04

Thanks for the heads up, mom.

mucrew 0

Monday 25 May 2009 16:05

you should have said "yea i agree"! and gotten into a deep discussion with her...so she'll feel really awkward too! haha

fdyourmom 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 5:22

[your mom is a ****]I think this could quite possibly lead to a discussion on who your real father is.

Pansy_Fairy 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 5:53

Your mom needs to make some friends to talk about that stuff with.

Amorbis 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 6:38

WOW... FYL.. FYL good sir.(or maam)

Islander_fml 5

Thursday 28 May 2009 8:18

I wouldn't mind talking about that stuff with my mom. My sister and I were with a friend, and we were cracking dead baby jokes and masturbation topics for half an hour straight.