Health Low blow

Low blow

Anonymous - 09/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Time for a beer

Nope - 17/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried making homemade bread, just for fun. My girlfriend started yelling that we had perfectly good bread from the store, "but noooo, my boyfriend just HAS to make his own bread!" She ended up ruining the experience, so I just threw the dough in the garbage and went to get drunk. FML

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themuffinman - 27/12/2011 15:15 - Japan

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

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Give me a break

anon - 18/02/2023 06:00

Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML

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Romance is dead

Dead Bedrooms, here i come - 13/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML

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yummy(: - 31/10/2010 02:14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

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Power dynamic

whole wheat or nothing - 30/12/2022 15:00

Today, my girlfriend viciously chewed me out for not taking a sandwich to work to save money. I don't have a problem with packing lunches, but the store-brand white bread she insists on buying is disgusting. She won't listen to me, and refuses to let me buy anything else. FML

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Eventful day

Anonymous - 30/07/2021 23:01 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML

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Rocks

Anonymous - 05/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I baked my boyfriend his favorite cookies for his birthday. Well, I tried. I followed the recipe, but they somehow turned out diamond hard. When he tried to bite into one, he chipped a tooth. Instead of being mad, he laughed and said, “At least you tried.” Now I’m stuck with inedible cookies and a dentist's bill. FML

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We'll just order out

Lili - 22/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML

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Can't win

Viscerion - 31/01/2023 00:30

Today, I made breakfast for the family. Perfect. Did all the Laundry. Great. Drove the one and a half hour round trip to take my stepdaughter to work. Blah. Finished off by doing some housework and cooking dinner. The dinner wasn't perfect, and my wife told me that for all the good I do, I ruin everything. FML

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Astrum14 24

Saturday 10 January 2015 10:41

You should inform her that there is a major psychological aspect to erectile dysfunction. If you're constantly worried about getting it up, you'll have a more difficult time getting it up. Comments like that will just make it worse.

annoyed146578 12

Saturday 10 January 2015 10:38

Maybe it's time to get a new wife!!

dragoongirl90 34

Saturday 10 January 2015 12:37

I'd leave the bitch. That's not love!

kalist19 3

Saturday 10 January 2015 12:55

Erectile dysfunction is mostly psychogenic, not somatic in nature. By her making comments like this she is contributing to the problem, not the solution...

CO_RRA 11

Saturday 10 January 2015 12:56

Damn. That's ice cold.

Headcrab 29

Saturday 10 January 2015 13:02

Your wife is a ****. She shah old be the number one person to support you. Tell her next time that she is the reason you are having issues.

rossea 21

Saturday 10 January 2015 13:04

teentee401 36

Saturday 10 January 2015 14:40

You could always Google it so we don't have to kill you... But to put it simply, it means he can't get an erection very easily.

dragoongirl90 34

Saturday 10 January 2015 21:37

You're on FML. That means you have internet. Hence, look it up and don't comment a question that will get you down-voted to hell.

Kevin5475845 15

Saturday 10 January 2015 13:18

"just like your sagging breasts, i can't get them up either"

pete9913 23

Saturday 10 January 2015 14:10

What a bitch. Probably a contributing cause. Does she have a sister you could try with? That just might be close to the constant insults.

ZigZAG1488 10

Saturday 10 January 2015 14:43

I'm sorry OP! Maybe you should tell her how she's only making it worse for you. If she truly doesn't care about your feelings, you should leave her. She's your wife and should be supportive through this, not spiteful.