Today, my trusty old car decided that it no longer needed its back passenger window pane, and that in fact the window would look a lot better smashed to pieces by the roadside. FML
Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML
Today, it's the day before my friends' wedding. My dress has not yet been shipped from the online shop where I ordered it three weeks ago, the hand-crafted gift that was ordered last month is trapped at customs and my cats have just managed to open the drawer and eat the wedding card. FML
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about a friend-with-benefits that I had before him, and he dumped me because I’m still friends with that person, and I didn’t tell him about him right away. FML
Today, I found out that in the past, my mother has paid or outright threatened my girlfriends into breaking up with me, because they were, "unsuitable trash not fit to be the mothers of my future grand babies." This explains why I’m 47 and have never married or had children. FML
Today, I’m at a low point. I sank low enough to ask a coworker I don’t even like for a pity shag to boost my self esteem. The sex was great, excellent even, but when he left this morning I now feel even lower because I feel cheap and nasty, and I almost had to beg for someone to have sex with me. FML
Oh no, you must be shattered!
Now it has fancy air conditioning at no extra cost!