Love Lonely - FML

Lonely

Anonymous - 13/01/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

liynda - 06/05/2011 01:49 - Canada

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

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Spooky season ain't over

Brendon - 05/11/2025 15:00

Today, I came home and heard the shower running. Assuming my roommate was in there, I yelled, “Don’t use up all the hot water!” Then my roommate walked in with groceries. I froze. The shower stopped. The bathroom was empty. Now I have to move out or start charging rent to a ghost. FML

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Username - 14/03/2011 06:53

Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML

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lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

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wtfisgoingon - 28/04/2013 10:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML

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Fire_Crotch - 14/08/2010 06:27 - Canada

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

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youlovewaffles - 03/08/2019 04:00

Today, I was talking to myself in the shower, pretending I was Oprah. After I got out, my little brother asked if I was singing in the bathroom. I almost said no, but admitting to singing seemed a lot less embarrassing. FML

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Home alone

Jdogg - 15/11/2025 00:00

Today, I was home alone, blasting music, dancing in my underwear, singing into a wooden spoon. I turned around mid-performance to see my landlord standing in the kitchen. I’d forgotten about the maintenance appointment I'd scheduled. FML

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HomeAlone - 24/04/2016 04:45 - United States

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML

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Classic

Diane - 12/09/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML

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LawSixx 11

Friday 13 January 2012 8:52

What a way to waste water as well.

kareltje 17

Friday 13 January 2012 8:52

WTF? Don't be so selfish! Think about the environment, dude! ;) I'll get me coat...

tmd4L 7

Friday 13 January 2012 9:32

At least water isn't valuable or anything..

ChaosAngel17 14

Friday 13 January 2012 9:44

Bobby Boucher would not approve.

anzie_fml 9

Friday 13 January 2012 9:44

Ask the girl who was enjoying her armpit grossness to join you/use your shower... She could probably use that shower, and you wouldn't be alone. Win-win situation :D

rahrah765765 11

Friday 13 January 2012 11:56

Haha his water bill will be less now that stinky is around! And he will have some one to yell out to when the pizza arrives! Win win!

lajaynay 15

Friday 13 January 2012 9:45

So, you just pretend that someone else is showering? It makes a little more sense to leave a tv on. Good luck finding a friend!

j_cat187 19

Friday 13 January 2012 10:14

The brave little toaster is gona eat my braiiiinns!!!

nursegaga 0

Friday 13 January 2012 10:16

Either your life really sucks or you just don't care about you water bill

A100893 30

Friday 13 January 2012 10:17

Go out and find some people to talk to.

khaya 9

Friday 13 January 2012 10:27

Maybe a cat?

pdp_fml 21

Friday 13 January 2012 10:40

I think a dog is better than a cat. Dogs will show you affection, whereas cats usually stick to themselves.

teyyoshi 19

Friday 13 January 2012 10:50

maybe you can show us your FB account...i bet you will not be alone!!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML

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Today, my girlfriend went through my phone and computer and deleted all my videos and photos of my high school girlfriend, who died when she was only 16. Her excuse was that keeping those photos was emotional cheating. FML

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Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML

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Today, the seat in my car broke and wouldn't move forward. I had to walk to school in the rain because I was too short to reach the pedals. FML

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Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

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Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

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