Let's grow old together

Eric - 20/11/2025 03:00

Today, I stood up wrong from the toilet, leading to me pulling a muscle in both of my thighs, just above the knees. This made me feel old, and even older when I immediately remembered this website from when I was still young. I'm 29 now. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Many such cases

clitorasaurus - - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

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Ouch

sadface - - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

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Keep fit

Anonymous - 23/11/2025 09:00

Today, I found out why I was gradually getting worsening hip pain in those muscles. Turns out I was slouching too much and it had finally caught up with me. I'm only 39. Nothing like needing to go to physical therapy to correct my posture before I turn 50. FML

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Old memories

Will T - 01/09/2021 01:01

Today, I pulled a groin muscle. While cleaning the cat litter box. The last time this happened, I was playing high school football. 40 years ago. FML

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Y'all need fiber.

blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

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Welcome to middle age

Adrianna - 03/12/2021 13:59

Today, I pulled a shoulder muscle opening my front door. How are your thirties going? FML

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Getting on

Kelly - 05/07/2022 22:00

Today, I learned the hard way that age is not just a number when I completely threw out my back while sitting on the ground, gently tossing a ball. FML

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It's not an age thing, it's an ice thing

Old - 04/02/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I took a pretty nasty fall on the ice and made noises similar to the ones my dad makes when he's in pain. I am officially becoming old. FML

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Heavy load

Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

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ThisGuy97 - 12/08/2011 20:46 - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

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Charlie Given 26

Thursday 20 November 2025 4:21

Make sure you're fully relaxed while sitting on the toilet with both feet flat on the floor, most people tense their lower body without realizing it when they're trying to have a bowel movement.

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 20 November 2025 4:21

Make sure you're fully relaxed while sitting on the toilet with both feet flat on the floor, most people tense their lower body without realizing it when they're trying to have a bowel movement.