Lava lamp

Kathleen Verhaegen - 30/04/2020 20:00

Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Pale AF

Kathleen Verhaegen - 05/03/2020 21:00

Today, I went to get a double conch piercing. Afterwards, the lady asked me whether I was feeling well, because I was looking so pale. I had to explain that it's my normal skin tone. I'm just pale as fuck. FML

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Sally - 22/08/2011 00:17 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

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Mirror, mirror

Anonymous - 21/08/2020 17:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today I discovered that I'm so pale that I can lighten up any distant dark corner of the room just by placing my hand by a window and reflecting the light like a mirror. Imagine how bright it would be if I stood by the window naked. FML

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Soft as snow

Snow White - 22/05/2017 22:00

Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML

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CasperTheFriendlyGhost - 14/07/2016 17:11 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was told to rub in my sunscreen because I looked like a ghost. I wasn't wearing any. I'm just that white. FML

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Ouch - 29/07/2009 05:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

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Hey lady, not cool!

Ghostly - 21/07/2013 15:03 - United States - Madison

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist's, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw that I chose fair, she mumbled, "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

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waytootan - 22/08/2011 20:34 - United States

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

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shrutisoma - 12/05/2016 04:54 - Australia - Strathfield

Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML

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sarahc_c - 08/12/2014 09:17

Today, my boss commented on the fact that I don't usually wear makeup, then told me it would be much appreciated if I'd change that. FML

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Katy Elizabeth Deppe 5

Thursday 30 April 2020 20:21

make light of it next time and say yeah I'm alot of fun at partys/raves 😂

RichardPencil 30

Friday 1 May 2020 1:29

Make "light" of it? Haha! That's beyond the pale -- it's not fair!

Katy Elizabeth Deppe 5

Thursday 30 April 2020 20:21

make light of it next time and say yeah I'm alot of fun at partys/raves 😂

RichardPencil 30

Friday 1 May 2020 1:29

Make "light" of it? Haha! That's beyond the pale -- it's not fair!

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 30 April 2020 22:42

That's so racist! #AlbinoLivesMatter

bloopaloop 27

Friday 1 May 2020 3:28

Whether you light up in the dark OR...?

Aurora25 29

Friday 1 May 2020 4:07

well do you?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 1 May 2020 18:11

I'm sure he was just trying to lighten the mood. Don't worry about it, Caspar.

sickerthanyou 13

Friday 1 May 2020 19:47

It’s ok to be albino. #albinosarepeopletoo

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my daughter is almost never included in activities my family has for their daughters. I’ve been told mine is “too wild” and “unladylike” because she likes being barefoot, climbing trees, and playing with animals. Meanwhile, they have their 10-12 year-olds in weaves, acrylics, makeup, and heels. FML

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Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

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Today, it's been a month since my grandma passed away. Up until that point, I'd been visiting her regularly to make sure she was doing okay, and to get out of the house for a change. Now that she's gone, I have one less reason to leave the house. My life is even more dull than before. I want to go back. FML

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Today, I got a sunburn all over my stomach from a tanning bed. In an attempt to relieve the itching, I looked up natural treatments since we have no aloe. After trying yogurt, milk and mayo I found out that our water was shut off so the shower could be fixed. I now reek of mayo and milk. FML

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Today, my sister was so bored during the lockdown that she let me attempt to cook an omelette without turning the stove on, just so she had something amusing to watch. FML

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Today, I, a grown man in his 30’s, fell asleep and pissed myself like a 2 year-old at bedtime. I was at work on my dinner break and had taken a nap on the break room sofa, which is now soaked in my pee, and I have no change of clothes. Twenty coworkers and 5 senior management all know it was me. FML

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