Kids, Parents, Teenagers Contraception Knowledge is power

Knowledge is power

Anonymous - 03/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I had to explain to my idiot son and his idiot girlfriend that an X does not mean negative when it’s on a pregnancy test; an X on a pregnancy test is actually a +, which means positive. FML

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Anonymous - 20/03/2022 14:00

Today, I tried to explain to my son that a 10.5lb baby can’t be born after only 6 months of pregnancy, and when he didn’t get that massive hint, I had to outright tell him his girlfriend must've already been 3 months pregnant when they met, and lied to him. I’ve raised an idiot. FML

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I'm stupid - 25/11/2012 15:08 - United States - Naperville

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

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DemiRawrs - 01/05/2013 17:23 - United States

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

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Anonymous - 24/06/2015 03:16 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

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No kidding

Anonymous - 14/03/2013 18:41 - United States - Portland

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

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No kidding

huh? - 23/06/2020 05:02

Today, I was ecstatic that the pregnancy test I took was negative. I went to high-five my boyfriend as I told him the good news. Apparently, it’s monstrous, unladylike and weird for a woman to not want children. When I pointed out he doesn’t want kids either, he said, "That’s normal for guys." FML

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Dodged a bullet

mama - 30/06/2019 07:09

Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML

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fucked by sex ed - 29/03/2013 17:18 - United States - Manchester

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

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Anonymous - 21/06/2018 19:00

Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML

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Whaaaaat?

erphy21 - - United States - Lompoc

Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML

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CaptainMaggot 7

Monday 4 March 2024 0:36

i dont think people this dumb should be procreating

great_nate 26

Monday 4 March 2024 18:13

Too bad your idiot son did not have someone in his life to teach him anything.

CaptainMaggot 7

Monday 4 March 2024 0:36

i dont think people this dumb should be procreating

great_nate 26

Monday 4 March 2024 18:13

Too bad your idiot son did not have someone in his life to teach him anything.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 22 March 2024 4:26

Great... stupid breeds stupid and here's a fine example.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

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Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML

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Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

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Today, while using a portable restroom at the park, I discovered all too late that some very hostile and territorial hornets had made it their home. FML

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Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

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Today, after years of torment and relentless harassment, I finally built up the courage to stand up to a bully. I got a detention for swearing at him. FML

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