Love, Sex, Food Cute Kinky

Kinky

Anonymous - 11/08/2022 22:00

Today, my husband asked if we could try food play during sex. I okayed it, thinking it would be the standard squirty cream or chocolate sauce. Let’s just say I was not expecting him to be eating crispy bacon and blue cheese sauce off my boobs. Good Lord, I married a weirdo. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Hot and… greasy

cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

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Taste test

Anonymous - 25/01/2014 12:28 - United States - Berkeley

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

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fuck no - 22/08/2015 10:18 - India - Kollam

Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML

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welted - 01/01/2010 05:21 - Canada

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

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ouch - 20/02/2019 18:00

Today, me and my hubby wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. He’s always wanted to eat food off my body but never wanted to deal with the mess. He got a little too excited and ended up biting my nipple instead of the spaghetti. I didn’t know someone was capable of biting that hard on soft food. FML

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And they say romance is dead…

BaconBreathBlonde - 30/10/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

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The language of love

disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

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To each their own

Anonymous - 13/12/2024 07:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML

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Fromage

Anonymous - 20/11/2023 14:00

Today, I spent a good 30 seconds licking my husbands' penis all over before I drew back his foreskin to really start going to town on it, only to discover that under the head was covered in his stinking knob cheese. I threw up three times. He’s an adult man and can’t wash himself properly. Pig. FML

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ch4nny - 29/08/2014 01:47 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

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cacheson 41

Thursday 11 August 2022 22:19

Some people aren’t super into sweet, maybe this is just his alternative.

cuz803 44

Thursday 11 August 2022 22:39

Sounds hot and tasty. Bless you two

cacheson 41

Thursday 11 August 2022 22:19

Some people aren’t super into sweet, maybe this is just his alternative.

cuz803 44

Thursday 11 August 2022 22:39

Sounds hot and tasty. Bless you two

Hangryko 31

Thursday 11 August 2022 23:33

Is your husband George Costanza? Will he be going for the trifecta and adding TV?

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 11 August 2022 23:47

I don't get it. Weirdo? Sounds like you married a creative original. Mmmm...bacon...and boobs. Not sure about the bleu cheese sauce, but two out of three ain't bad.