Miscellaneous Kinda sus - FML

Kinda sus

embarrassed - 03/07/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

ilovezim29 - 03/06/2012 07:45 - United States - Windsor

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

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J'accuse !

Anonymous - 10/08/2010 21:34 - United States

Today, I was shopping at a store from which I had previously bought a shirt. The clerk accused me of trying to steal my own shirt and called security. They examined it and argued with me for so long I was late to work. FML

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Dressed for success

bitchsawmebuyit - - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize I'd lost my receipt. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

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danskinnow - 05/10/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

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The cat's out of the bag

Anonymous - 26/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML

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Acting kinda sus

sailinggsoul - 02/08/2019 00:01

Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML

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It is though

Timv86 - 16/02/2010 08:18 - Australia

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

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Ruthless

blahhhh - 09/04/2009 10:47 - United States

Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said, "Maybe you should try our girls' section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML

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Shop til you drop

- 15/01/2017 08:00

Today, after getting home from shopping, I noticed a security tag was still on one of the shirts I bought. I decided to take it back and ask them to remove the tag. They then accused me of trying to steal (even after I showed them the receipt) and kicked me out of the store. FML

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Smugglers unite

atang - 09/04/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML

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watermelon1 35

Saturday 3 July 2010 18:51

YDI

tab13 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:14

come on take it from a guy big boobs don't matter I'll go out with a sweet flat-chested girl before a big tit bitch.

JeffGoesRawrr 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:02

I've never seen security guards at Target.

Raleigh_bruh 7

Saturday 3 July 2010 22:01

That's the point. You don't see them, but they see you.

FleshForFantasy 3

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:03

If you want to do that, it's called a PUSH UP BRA!!! But I agree with others. Accept yourself and your bf should accept you as well. Be real!

I3ear 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:04

...Your bf probably already knows you have a small rack, so umm wtf???

I3ear 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:04

...Your bf probably already knows you have a small rack, so umm wtf???

I3ear 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:04

...Your bf probably already knows you have a small rack, so umm wtf???

scarface23 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:05

hahaha

ALERI0N 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:05

the security cant just asume your shoplifting.

3mi1y_ 16

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:05

LOLL. epic fail.

PurpleLlamas 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:07

ydi for pretending to be someone youre not

DiNoBeAr 0

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:08

WTF?!!!!?? and why did u comment 3 times I3ear?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

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Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML

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Today, I woke up to find "GO HOME N***AS" written on my house. After filing a police report, crying with fear, and looking into the fastest way to sell my house, my 14 year-old daughter let it slip that she wrote it to "get popular." FML

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Today, my son got in an argument with my boyfriend, packed up his stuff, and moved in with his dad. Not five minutes later I saw my boyfriend doing his stupid happy dance. When angrily confronted, he admitted he orchestrated every argument for months until he got the result he wanted, my son gone. FML

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Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

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Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

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