Health Gross Keeping warm

Keeping warm

Anonymous - 22/01/2021 11:01

Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

stelssy - 26/01/2013 05:03 - United States

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

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Anon - 25/05/2015 01:14 - United States - Twinsburg

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

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pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

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Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

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Anonymous - 19/11/2012 21:08 - United States - Nutley

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

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pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

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Drunk

Anonymous - 13/06/2021 17:59

Today, I awoke in my bathtub, water all over the floor, all the way into my living room. I drank too much so I don't remember getting into the bath, I have no clue how long I was in there, and I got a message from the manager of my apartment complex telling me the water had leaked into the apartment below. FML

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Streaming

Soiled - 12/02/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I lost my balance while peeing. I'll let your imagination do the rest. In the meantime, I'm going to take a shower and change my clothes. FML

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Bad start to the day

Concussed - - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

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PeedMaPants - 16/08/2016 00:04 - United Kingdom - Meopham

Today, I started my first day at work. When I used the bathroom, I thought I was peeing into the bowl but it was actually leaking out. My pants kindly cleaned up the mess. FML

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BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 23 January 2021 3:17

You're just a regular whiz-kid.

Ambrily 27

Friday 22 January 2021 20:33

Yeah, that's what I think they meant.

tounces7 27

Friday 22 January 2021 19:26

Same difference, so who cares? Or did you actually pee in bathwater that you were currently sitting in? Because that would be pretty dumb.

Ambrily 27

Friday 22 January 2021 20:33

Yeah, that's what I think they meant.

Charlie Given 26

Friday 22 January 2021 20:32

it's actually harmless and your own natural urea will be a hell of a great skin softener

Chazzster 29

Friday 22 January 2021 22:00

Harmless but disgusting...

BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 23 January 2021 3:17

You're just a regular whiz-kid.

metroido 17

Thursday 27 January 2022 3:02

I’m fully convinced that people who pee in the shower simply don’t have a sense of smell.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

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Today, I won an award at school for my hard work. Afterwards, my parents told me off. Why? They wanted my brother to get it instead of me. FML

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Today, my live-in boyfriend spent yet another evening trying to bait Twitch streamers into a debate about stuff he barely understands. He's obsessed with "growing his audience", and I'm getting tired of his bullshit. FML

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Today, I forgot my headphones at home. When I got to work I found out that today was also the day the band next door had decided to practice their only song for 8 hours. FML

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Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

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Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

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