Embarrassing, Insects Animals Jumpy

Jumpy

Anonymous - 21/05/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Panic at the crosswalk

Butterflyguy - 14/08/2009 17:10 - Canada

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

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tryscal - 12/07/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML

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Lala - 10/09/2009 13:40 - Philippines

Today, I was sitting in my garden and having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies. I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them and tried to catch their tails like I used to when I was a kid. They were exotic wasps. Ouch. FML

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fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

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Ewwww

jamblasticus - 09/05/2009 01:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

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Anonymous - 11/09/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

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gabby - 24/02/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML

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Caught in the act

Anonymous - 14/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

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outofluckdude - 01/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

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Brain melt

Anonymous - 03/03/2010 02:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

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uneekfreak16 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

Are you the same guy with the FML who smashed his own nuts when he got scared and saw a spider on them?

hyper12332 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

haha you little pussy

timeisindustry 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:28

wow, you're retarded.

hellokittywhore 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 5:25

butterflies are the root of all evil!!!! those sinister lil hevens!!!!! ;)))

danyfuckinheatle 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 2:46

that got their attention.

jazziness 12

Saturday 13 August 2011 18:45

I agree #170 I'm absolutely terrified of butterflies because they're crazy and ugly!!!!

QuirkyCorgiLove 8

Saturday 7 April 2012 14:41

Butterflies are ******* terrifying.

VenomSiphon 13

Friday 13 April 2012 5:45

You may all be glad to know that I now have a girlfriend. I bet when I propose, a butterfly will flutter onto the scene and destroy me.

hyper12332 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

haha you little pussy

Darraghscoot 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 2:36

who pays attention to stamps?

lolfood 24

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:02

What the ****? ^^^

uneekfreak16 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

Are you the same guy with the FML who smashed his own nuts when he got scared and saw a spider on them?

iampunk 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 4:17

LMFAO!

wtfisfmy 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 15:31

HAHA WOW!!! LMAO

Guatican 6

Friday 24 October 2014 4:52

What the actual ****?! XD

ApplaudtheActor 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:32

Macho. I'll bet you got lots of numbers after that, eh?

amateur_ninja 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:35

Did the scary butterfly take your balls?

kalixzo 11

Tuesday 11 May 2010 3:47

what if it was an evil butterfly with laser beams and sharp teeth?

eiji_chan 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:35

Next time pee in your pants when you see a lady bug. Girls love sensitive men. LOL #3 :D

wtrplochica 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:36

Don't worry. I'm afraid of them too... :)

pompompom_fml 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 22:58

here's a possible date :)

hayride1987 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:37

no wonder your available...

deegee12 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:43

hmm. you're cool

withfire 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:46

I'm guessing you had something in your stomach.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my 17 year-old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he overheated, but he still won't take it off. FML

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Today, I went to a café that claimed to be fully accessible, as I use a mobility aid. The ramp was technically there but so steep, I needed help. Three strangers helped push me up while I apologized, laughed nervously, and tipped coffee onto myself at the top. FML

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Today, I took my boys over to their grandmother’s house. We had a nice supper together. We all talked, played board games, and watched TV. After a while, I couldn’t find my 13 year-old son. He was in his 67 year-old grandmother’s master bathroom, jerking off with her dirty granny panties. FML

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Today, in Tennessee, it stormed like crazy due to Hurricane Harvey. I brought my boyfriend home safely to his parents' house, but it rained harder once we arrived, so I started to wait inside. He's an adult but has a curfew, so they kicked me back out into the storm. FML

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Today, I drove for 45 minutes to find an open print shop to scan and email my signed severance agreement for the job I'd worked at for two years, so I can keep the maximum value of the severance. They specifically asked me to scan a copy, instead of mailing. Now they've blocked my email, so I can't get my severance. FML

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Today, I went to buy some frozen yogurt. I filled up a cup and the cashier rung it up. The total price was $6.92. I only had $5 in my wallet. So I gave her the $5 bill and went to my car to get more money. Little did I know, there was no money in my car. So I drove off. Leaving the $5 behind. FML

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