Babies, Cute Kids Judgemental - FML

Judgemental

ugly - - United States

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

bigscarypuppy - 22/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

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Hard no

badsitter -

Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML

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Scary!

Anonymous - - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

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Surprising

Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

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Second class citizen

crapped on - - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

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Devious

rachel - - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

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justsomesummer - 26/01/2016 18:09 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

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Demon child

PeanutlyDisabled - - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

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Too late

dumpedtaco -

Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML

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thatonekid - 27/07/2009 23:10 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML

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Saltime 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:20

Did the baby tell her that? No? Then she has no proof.

davie101 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:22

That is what brown bags are made for- don't forget the eye slits. just a suggestion...

999pun999 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:16

sucks

Leeshawbrown 3

Monday 27 June 2011 2:41

This would be even funnier if OP and her sister were identical twins.

marcyfrances 4

Monday 27 June 2011 2:47

your family is obviously not very close! I'm sorry

lemonsquid 6

Monday 27 June 2011 6:06

AHAHA still I bet your face is terribly hilarious! xD

Saniyah22 0

Monday 27 June 2011 6:30

u must be one ugly mother.....

Garyy_fml 11

Monday 27 June 2011 6:31

You're brothers a dick.

ermkrmr 0

Monday 27 June 2011 7:24

pregnant women are very hormonal, and can come off as rude, my mom started yelling at my dads buddies to get off the property when she first had me. Just make a joke of it and embarrass her at the next family reunion ;) and don't let her forget it! :)

l0606299 0

Monday 27 June 2011 8:18

uhh well that's not very good! I wouldn't know what to say! "ummm... o alright.. that's... ******* awesome...."

clay2232 3

Monday 27 June 2011 16:43

could someone tell me what op means??

seeunexttuesdays 6

Monday 27 June 2011 18:15

probably the lamest excuse to get rid of you considering the baby didnt ACTUALLY say: "aunties face scares the crap outta me!"

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

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Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

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Today, my wife is visiting her nana, which I hate because she comes home full of Catholic guilt, meaning I'll have to spend the next few months wasting my Sunday mornings in church, until her guilt wears off and her normal Sunday morning laziness resumes. FML

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Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

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Today, I'm sat at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

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Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

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