Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 450 You deserved it 3 839 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was at a window seat on a bus full of people when I saw a person lying motionless in a gutter. I jumped up, nearly hysterical, screaming for the driver to stop because there was a guy really hurt on the road. An emergency stop and huge commotion ensued. It turned out to be some garbage. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 697 You deserved it 54 899
Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 890 You deserved it 2 520
Today, I was trying to listen to a phone message I'd received. I was excited because I'd been waiting for the coaches to call me back for tryouts for a week now. Trying to figure out how to listen to it, I ended up deleting it. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 281 You deserved it 28 486
Today, I asked my husband for the 1000th time to stop texting a woman he used to be friends with in high school, with whom he recently reconnected, and that I’m feeling neglected in this marriage. He responded by saying, “Fine! I guess I can’t have any friends then!” and took a hammer to his phone, breaking it. FML I agree, your life sucks 529 You deserved it 370
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 030 You deserved it 3 274
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 35 421 You deserved it 2 577
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?