Money, Kids, Parenting, Poopoo peepee Gross Ivy league

Ivy league

WasteOMoney - 04/07/2011 01:50 - United States

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Kinda bizarre

@SamAnderson - 16/08/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML

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So cute

lildale92 - 05/11/2019 02:00

Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML

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Ironic

Anonymous - 05/02/2023 10:00

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now I know why they call it 'smart' phone; it's smarter than me. FML

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Anonymous - 08/09/2018 09:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML

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wtfuraretard - 19/02/2010 20:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

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Anonymous - 20/10/2010 22:22 - United States

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

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AK-47 - 17/07/2015 23:04 - United States - Farmington

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

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Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

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Katherine - 13/02/2012 21:23 - United States

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

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Pottymouth - 25/07/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML

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Tessa39 0

Monday 4 July 2011 8:34

sounds like he is a genius

EvilDoll 7

Monday 4 July 2011 8:35

Well, his education and your money are both going down the drain. Among other things...

JoeyPterodactyl 0

Monday 4 July 2011 15:11

If he was so smart he'd be able to find video if that easily on the Internet.

J35511333 0

Monday 4 July 2011 15:18

do we have the same mum or what?! sounds like it -__-

laduf 5

Monday 4 July 2011 15:18

I hope I never have your son as my doctor. He sounds super immature.

J35511333 0

Monday 4 July 2011 15:20

OMG! FML! I hate my iPhone! wrong Fml! I'm so sorry!

Bloothebawss 9

Monday 4 July 2011 15:28

Ewwwwwwww.

sweet_blasphemy 2

Monday 4 July 2011 15:38

I guess all that money was *puts on sunglasses* flushed away. YYYEEEAAAHHH!!!!

0opsie 6

Monday 4 July 2011 16:54

Why would anyone admit that? Why not just say it slipped while you were texting?

mikelust1977 7

Monday 4 July 2011 17:04

maybe he needed a report on how shit happens

mikelust1977 7

Monday 4 July 2011 17:08

maybe get him a phone that doesn't have a camera

loooveit 4

Monday 4 July 2011 17:09

how did he get into medical school in the first place

bigassfish97 0

Monday 4 July 2011 17:11

your son is a smart dumbass

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to the doctor for the constant pain I have when eating savory or sour foods. It turns out I have a stone in my saliva gland, and no joke, the only thing I can do to fix it is eat savory or sour food to make me drool enough to force it out. FML

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Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

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Today, my boss is beginning to hate me. Why? Because people keep coming to my register with one or two dollars worth of stuff, then paying for it with hundred dollar bills, ignoring the sign saying not to do that. I’ve had to ask him to refill my till after every transaction. FML

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Today, on my way home from work, I went to the car wash. When the spray jets hit the car, my dog jumped out of his crate, into the front seat, and onto a button lowering both back windows. I got both an exterior and interior wash. FML

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Today, I left the house I'm staying at, not knowing that thunderstorms were forecast. I came back from work to find dog shit splattered all over the kitchen. Apparently the dogs I'm watching don't like thunder. FML

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Today, I tried to manscape with some Nair. Nothing helps the pain. FML

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