Sex, Insects Painful Intruder alert!

Intruder alert!

Anonymous - 28/07/2023 22:00

Today, in the middle of sex, a bee stung me on the vulva. Definitely not the kind of prick I was expecting to get. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Dave, don't stick your knob in beehives!

Pinsky - 01/08/2022 00:00

Today, I got stung by a bee on the tip top of my penis. No one understands why I am limping. FML

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Behave!

Anonymous - 06/08/2018 00:00 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

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hulagirl1217 - 29/05/2010 12:11 - United States

Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML

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lyinginbed - 04/06/2016 19:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML

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Sneaky

Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

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Tyler - 03/08/2009 18:48 - United States

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

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Anonymous - 27/11/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

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Husband to be....maybe - 09/06/2018 09:00

Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML

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Panic on the streets of…

Anstice - 05/10/2009 03:07 - United States

Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML

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Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML

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BrizBurry 10

Saturday 29 July 2023 19:41

...... how tho?

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 29 July 2023 13:37

Honey, that's un-bee-lievable!

cuz803 44

Friday 28 July 2023 22:19

So....does this count as an orgy?

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 29 July 2023 13:37

Honey, that's un-bee-lievable!

BrizBurry 10

Saturday 29 July 2023 19:41

...... how tho?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

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Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML

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Today, after I ghosted a good friend for 6 months due to mental health issues/dropping out/other life changes, it's been a week since I got back in contact, and I think she hates me now. I stalk her on social media sometimes on my laptop and she made a playlist called "What the F*** are you doing?" like 3 days ago. FML

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Today, a deer hit my car. I stopped to check on it, expecting it to be dead in the road or a ditch. The fucker was staring at me from the top of the hill and pranced off just fine. I get $800 in front-end damage and I'm still finding hair and fecal matter on my car. FML

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Today, while working the Sunday rush at the deli, I held up a piece of ham to a blind customer and asked him if it was thick enough. FML

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Today, I called my parents from out of state to see if they would order me a pizza using their credit card online because I'm out of money. I haven't lived with them for the past year, and they still claim me as a dependent on their taxes. They said no. FML

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