Work Idiot

Idiot

anashaalmajiid - 05/03/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out, "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Not on the weekend

jtaylor94 - - Canada

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

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Anonymous - 26/09/2014 20:00 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

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unknown - 13/12/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

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Great talk, Dad

Anonymous - 28/08/2019 14:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was sitting in my room when my dad walked in to talk. He said I'm not the son he'd hoped for, and that he'd been let down as a father. He said I should change the way I am so that he could love me more. It was the longest conversation I've had with my dad in years. FML

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Good one, guys, thanks

Anonymous - 19/04/2022 00:01

Today, I was fixing something for a guy at a steel manufacturing company. His employees told me that their boss can't hear properly, so I'd have to be loud when talking to him. When I'd finished, he asked me if I normally talked like that, or if there was something wrong with me. FML

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superfiedman - 04/08/2009 08:40 - United States

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

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Foot, meet mouth

Anonymous - 20/01/2016 02:51 - United States - Mission

Today, I was talking to one of my supervisors at my new job. He asked if I knew a professor at the school I recently graduated from, and I decided to babble on about how shitty of a professor he was and how much I loathed his class. He then looked at me and said, "That's my dad." FML

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Anonymous - 16/07/2012 00:12 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

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Meltdown

Anonymous - 10/01/2026 00:00

Today, my neighbor heard me watching a YouTube tutorial for how to do a simple fix on my car engine and he half jokingly asked why my dad didn’t teach me anything growing up. My dad was just inside the front door and heard him say it. They ended up fighting in the street. FML

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Sorry…

Iamsosorry - 22/06/2015 11:35 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, at my work in a call centre, a man called up on a very quiet line to report a car accident on his father's behalf because his father was deaf. I asked him to ask his dad if he was OK after the accident. I'd misheard him and he had said "dead", not "deaf". He started crying. FML

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Seegtease 0

Friday 6 March 2009 10:25

That's why you don't call random people an idiot, idiot.

Area_fml 0

Friday 6 March 2009 10:27

You really deserved it. What do you gain in assuming that construction workers are stupid?

Seegtease 0

Friday 6 March 2009 10:25

That's why you don't call random people an idiot, idiot.

jrdirtbike114 2

Sunday 18 April 2010 11:38

you know what happens when you assume? you make an ASS out of U and ME

luvtheknot 6

Tuesday 1 June 2010 0:10

Yeah but they didn't make an ass out of u but congrats you just done it to yourself

ZleveL 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 6:57

62 do you not get it? assume "ASS out of U and ME" ASS+U+ME= assume. was that slow enough for the idiot?

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Thursday 10 June 2010 10:12

Just that it does make no sense because you assume hundred times every day. You assume, for example, that the computer in front of you won't suddenly explode. so shut the **** up.

Red_Forman 0

Friday 17 February 2012 16:24

You dumbass, that worker should kick your ass

RenoEnvy 0

Friday 6 March 2009 10:25

Shouldn't be yelling things like that out, my dear.

Area_fml 0

Friday 6 March 2009 10:27

You really deserved it. What do you gain in assuming that construction workers are stupid?

missdarcy_fml 0

Friday 6 March 2009 10:31

That is why you don't assume....

bluebob13 10

Thursday 1 March 2012 3:35

Yeah because when you assume, it makes an ASS out of U and ME

Tenantry 0

Friday 6 March 2009 10:57

Ha ha unlucky but you deserved that one.

SilverMyst787 0

Friday 6 March 2009 11:49

Where do you get off saying something like that about someone? Bully. You deserved that.

_Elizabeth_ 0

Friday 6 March 2009 11:56

Well, that's why you should make sure that the person you are addressing is actually in the room. And not the person you are calling an idiot. Be a bit more careful with what you say...

Emika_fml 0

Friday 6 March 2009 12:38

"Today, the rich prick whose house I just finished remodeling tried to scam his way out of paying me, and then walked away in a tiff when I demanded my money. Then his stuck-up bastard kid called me an idiot. FML."