Star Wars Work I think we're alone now - FML

I think we're alone now

lopez - 16/12/2008 03:58 - France

Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden, I heard a familiar voice, saying, "At least someone's having fun…" It was my boss. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Happy dance

Anonymous - 26/10/2024 17:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML

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NoPrivacy - 26/04/2012 10:44 - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

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We heard you

PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

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Dhagiik - 24/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Oak Park

Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML

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Anonymous - 25/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

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number2 - 18/10/2011 01:14 - United States

Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML

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Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

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Not now, mate

yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

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Emergency

BigMouth McRedface - 14/05/2010 02:11 - United States

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

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not telling you my name - 07/08/2015 15:16 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML

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Lifedoutcobra 0

Thursday 7 May 2009 10:20

Hahahah he was in the ******* bathroom man, hows that his fault. Its not like he was waving the shit from cubical to cubical

Easy_Target 0

Monday 23 February 2009 23:17

Damn it, Lopez, you have like seven of these about work, what the hell have you been doing?!

StormGirl142 24

Friday 4 March 2011 23:37

Play not with your penis at work, young Jedi.

donttalkjusteat 3

Sunday 17 April 2011 13:59

That was the most beautiful fml I have ever read :D its not exactly a fml moment though ...

OriginalPooh01 0

Monday 9 May 2011 5:54

Hopefully your boss is female. So.. What was your excuse? >:D

Majinveggie10 0

Monday 9 May 2011 6:09

do a Jedi mind trick!!!!!

beastwill64 16

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:48

life lesson 74: your penis is NOT a lightsaber and your NOT a Jedi. YDI

PrimeStarscream 30

Thursday 28 July 2011 7:05

Fail.

sillybanana97 1

Wednesday 26 October 2011 21:42

and I seriously doubt you and your "lightsaber" will ever get laid...

jazmynn 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 19:27

Lmfao haha

ckrider64 8

Friday 29 March 2013 2:00

did u hum the darkside theme song and make the saber noises?

Colecto_fml 26

Monday 29 July 2013 3:05

YDI simply for thinking this is an FML and not turning it into a funny situation

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

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Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

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Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML

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Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

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Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

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Today, at a customer's house, I was asked to carry her delivery of six pieces of heavy furniture up to her office. Normally, not a problem, but this insane woman had Witches' Stairs (Google them), which were was an accident begging to happen. She told my boss I was unhelpful, uncooperative, and rude. FML

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