Intimacy I don't understand!

I don't understand!

Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Precaution

Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

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ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

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fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

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Yeet it

Anonymous - 22/05/2020 05:00

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML

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Wrap it up

Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

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Some people are so... creative.

Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

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Not my turn

Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML

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Not funny

Blue balled by porn - 02/12/2025 20:00

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML

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Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

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RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

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Iamthebanzai22 21

Thursday 28 November 2019 18:41

Looks like you are our last line of defense against another dumb baby (because genetics) so please keep up the safe sex. Remember: we are counting on you.

Justin Hornsby 2

Thursday 28 November 2019 18:22

I remember this exact post from 2 years ago... It is Verbatim....

Chen Zhibang 8

Thursday 28 November 2019 18:05

She's apparently taking no chances.

mekiswrite 21

Friday 29 November 2019 1:43

If that were true, they wouldn't be having sex at all.

Justin Hornsby 2

Thursday 28 November 2019 18:22

I remember this exact post from 2 years ago... It is Verbatim....

Bevis Butthead 4

Tuesday 3 December 2019 16:47

Sounds like they're dumb enough to do the same thing again.

Iamthebanzai22 21

Thursday 28 November 2019 18:41

Looks like you are our last line of defense against another dumb baby (because genetics) so please keep up the safe sex. Remember: we are counting on you.

Hangryko 31

Thursday 28 November 2019 18:45

I've definitely read this before.

Phr0zen 11

Thursday 28 November 2019 21:59

I think they are recycling fml's

Nhayaa 21

Friday 29 November 2019 4:21

Reminds me of this chinese couple a few years ago trying to have a baby for years until their doctor finally understands they were having anal sex exclusively...