How to deal with annoying neighbors... FML Approved - 29/09/2017 03:00 A fun solution from your friends at FML! 398 135
Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML 48 063 5 458
Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML 46 007 3 679
Today, I went to my boyfriend's mom's house for the first time. They had a cook-out so I got to meet his whole entire family. I went into the kitchen to find a huge picture of his ex-girlfriend on his mom's fridge. FML 40 187 3 575
Today, I found out that when a cat loses a fight with a swarm of bees, the swelling from the stings can make it look like a cartoon character. My cat's nose looks like Operation Man's nose, and his paws are comically massive. I feel so horrible for laughing, but the vet bill will bring me back to reality. FML 412 187
Today, being the class nerd hasn't stopped me from being naive: none of my so-called friends has talked to me since the last day of exams. FML 39 365 4 309
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML 37 001 5 672