Hoarder

Anonymous - 19/11/2025 22:00

Today, my girlfriend came home with a Labubu. Yesterday she received two Labubus in the mail. She spent the last weekend looking at, and "researching" Labubus. There's Labubus everywhere in our apartment. I fucking hate Labubus. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

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Just a prank has its limits

Anonymous - 28/06/2013 17:34 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

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An Expensive Snack

Chihuahuanope - 08/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my girlfriend's 2lb chihuahua ate 500 dollars worth of textbook. FML

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Sick move, bro

jlw1998 - 25/04/2016 04:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

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pigglepigglepiggle - 24/11/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

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Creepy

Username - 03/10/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

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It's a doggy dog world

Patrick - 14/10/2012 04:39 - United States - Sulphur

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

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Alexa, play "Meat Is Murder" by The Smiths

meat is meat - 07/10/2019 02:07

Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML

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Kinda sus, dude

Anonymous - 10/01/2015 20:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

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What is it, sweetie?

WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

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idragosani 15

Thursday 20 November 2025 17:29

Get over it. It makes her happy.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 30 November 2025 4:30

It's a doll that looks like the Grinch crossbred with a creature from Where the Wild Things Are.

idragosani 15

Thursday 20 November 2025 17:29

Get over it. It makes her happy.

jcarter25 12

Sunday 23 November 2025 1:23

WTF is a labubu?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 30 November 2025 4:30

It's a doll that looks like the Grinch crossbred with a creature from Where the Wild Things Are.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 30 November 2025 4:31

Ugh, those things are so hideous. The way things get popular astounds me. But seriously, those things aren't cheap either, and they're supposedly super hard to find... so what's she spending on those things? And is your girlfriend 12???