Health Sex He gets around

He gets around

Anonymous - 22/02/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a nurse asked me how many sexual partners I’ve had in the last six months and as I started counting in my head, I realised I need to make better life choices before an STD makes my crotch shrivel up and die. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Do as I say…

Anonymous - 26/03/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as a gynaecologist, I’ve spent years telling people to be safe during sex. I should have known better, but I let my vagina do the thinking for me in a moment of weakness, had a meaningless anonymous one night stand, and I'm now pregnant and positive for chlamydia. FML

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Anonymous - 05/03/2013 18:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML

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Don't shoot the messenger

Anonymous - 05/07/2020 23:01

Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML

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impure - 29/09/2014 16:48 - United States

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

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Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

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Damn

happybudiess - 14/10/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

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Brook - 26/02/2013 08:21 - Australia - Sydney

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

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Just in case

Anonymous - 16/02/2016 07:39 - Australia - Balwyn North

Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML

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jons - 17/02/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

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Because of him

whytho - 19/11/2019 03:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML

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GoogieWithers 23

Sunday 23 February 2025 19:18

Please practice safe sex.

The_Real_Cvh 10

Sunday 23 February 2025 3:58

If this is some sort of flex, remember that it only works on people who are shallow enough to believe that a high body count is a badge of honour.

GoogieWithers 23

Sunday 23 February 2025 19:18

Please practice safe sex.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mother learned a new expression and uses it in every sentence. Her special, new expression is "boom diggity." It's apparently "hip." FML

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Today, I had to pee in a cup. The cup almost overflowed. My first instinct was to drink some so it didn't spill. FML

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Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML

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Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

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Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

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Today, It's been two years since I graduated from high school. The people in my grade excluded me from social activities and wouldn't talk to me. I dropped out of college when the same trends ensued and people treated me the same. For now, at 20, I serve drive-thru to people who bullied me, on their way to party. FML

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