Sex, Cheating Intimacy Hang up

Hang up

hangup - 04/07/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who is vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

donkeyd - 05/02/2010 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML

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Busted

Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

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anonymous - 05/09/2012 04:44 - Australia

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

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Big awkward moment

JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

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My ex the dumbass

Anonymous - 10/07/2020 20:02

Today, my long distance boyfriend sent me a Snap of him fucking another girl. When he realized he'd sent it to me, he called me, trying to explain, "it's not what it looks like. It was meant for the boys." Two days ago, I made plans to visit him. Guess who's out money and single. FML

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Kfeaaa - 24/02/2009 02:31 - United States

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML

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Anonymous - 12/08/2009 02:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

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Eskyew - 23/07/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

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I'll just hang out I guess

jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

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llmd - 10/08/2010 04:30 - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML

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alyssamarie218 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 19:52

ex boyfriend now, i hope

angorashi 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 20:01

Damn. Go key his car or something.

MissKelly8D 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 1:41

agree with 31:) srry

G6chick 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 17:28

Only 7 minutes?

Eclipse003 1

Sunday 27 May 2012 19:06

You should do the same. ******* cheaters.

beauty_life_love 7

Tuesday 31 July 2012 0:47

When he gets back, make him listen to the message. How all goes well OP.

KMellow 0

Saturday 22 September 2012 7:06

That is some bullshit! Drop his ass!

SinghIt 1

Friday 28 September 2012 17:05

Wait till he comes back then play the message for him and dump his ass!

xRezSynn 15

Saturday 26 January 2013 15:19

He's a dick, sorry OP.

The_9th_Doctor 18

Tuesday 1 October 2013 15:58

why in the ever loving hell did you listen to the whole 7mins of them acting like rabbits? something very wrong with you.

BiNeko 12

Wednesday 16 April 2014 3:11

I hope you told him to stay in Florida. Or at least done the same to him in return lol

IHazNoUsername 9

Monday 14 July 2014 4:58

Was it intentional?

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my sister announced she’s pregnant with my husband’s baby. The worst part? It was a plot for revenge against me. She lied about being on birth control to baby trap him. The crime? Me beating her at our high school beauty pageant. Ten years ago. FML

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Today, I realised the project I’ve been tirelessly working on for 6 months is actually going to cost the company $380,000. I thought the negative symbol was a saving, not a loss. I'm a senior analyst for the company, or at least… I was. FML

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Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML

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Today, I passed out when my blood sugar dropped. Three times. And each time, my roommate, who was right next to me, just let me fall because he liked the way my face looked. FML

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Today, before a blind date with a girl set up by my flatmate, I put some aftershave on. Then I realised I had forgotten my contact lenses. When I put them in it caused so much pain that in my attempt to reach the bathroom I walked into a wall. When I got there, she saw my swollen face and left. FML

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Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

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