Weird, Creepy Intimacy Great conversation starter

Great conversation starter

balkangirl94 - 23/12/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

You're weird, dude

Grossed out - 21/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML

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fme - 27/01/2018 15:00

Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML

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Weirdo

whateven333 - 18/02/2015 04:02 - United States - Gibsonia

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

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Freaked out

anon - 07/02/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML

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Comeback

Pinsky - 20/09/2021 01:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I walked in on the guy I called a cuck in high school going down on my sister. FML

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Inappropriate

Anonymous - 24/04/2015 19:39 - Ireland - Mountmellick

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

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Keeping it in the family

Anonymous - 12/10/2021 15:01 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my dad tried to hook me up with someone. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't my cousin. FML

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Pants on fire

Anonymous - 30/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I was told by my sister over the dinner table that some guy is telling people I’ve had sex with him; that’s not even the worst part. He’s telling people my sister walked in. One, I haven’t talked to him in years; two, he’s really not my type, three, I’m in a relationship. FML

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Thai that on for size - 25/09/2015 19:56 - New Zealand - Silverdale

Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML

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paintfarts1976 - 10/05/2013 19:01 - Ireland - Mullingar

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

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StoryOfTheYear 14

Friday 23 December 2011 12:02

"Well...only of you incest."

StoryOfTheYear 14

Friday 23 December 2011 12:11

Sigh... If you*

angrynegro7 16

Saturday 24 December 2011 0:31

Hey! It's family erotica, fucko!

MommaFrog 8

Saturday 24 December 2011 1:03

OMG I think its my ex husband...

MaloPero 4

Saturday 24 December 2011 1:34

Balkan girl? :) You could also be from Kazahstan, Texas...where else? JK, greetings from Croatia:)

jameschis 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 1:34

Was it your dad ?

onebigkaboom 10

Saturday 24 December 2011 1:44

Was it your brother?

almighty_jesus 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 2:13

"who's your daddy?"

mryoyo9 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 3:06

Was this guy in your family? Then that makes sense

kitkatknicknack 12

Saturday 24 December 2011 3:42

Maybe your related

guerillazinsuits 1

Saturday 24 December 2011 6:36

Now that's just wrong.

iluvdavid 3

Saturday 24 December 2011 7:47

Incest is best

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I met my future in-laws, two lesbian ladies. Can you imagine that, two mothers-in-law judging me for daring to want to marry their precious baby boy? By the time we left, it felt like they’d extracted every iota of information about me through my skin with sandpaper and rusty barbecue tongs. FML

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Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

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Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML

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Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school. Apparently, she told her teacher about the “special massages” mommy gives her. I’m a licensed massage therapist, and I massage my daughter with lavender to help her sleep. Now everyone thinks I’m a weirdo. FML

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Today, I got a serious infection following a medically necessary circumcision, and my doctor told me they will probably have to remove even more of the skin where the infection is particularly aggressive. My knob is gonna look like Freddy Krueger's face on a bad day. FML

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Today, my mom is marrying my ex boyfriend's dad. The same ex boyfriend who I caught cheating on me with my sister. Family gatherings are going to be such a joy! FML

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