Intimacy, Sex Miscellaneous Good question

Good question

epictothemax - 10/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue stud and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin said, "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years-old. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 16/10/2010 04:17 - United States

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

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Anonymous - 24/03/2009 10:41 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

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Anonymous - 04/12/2010 23:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

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Sorry grandma

Anonymous - 22/04/2021 17:01

Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML

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lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

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ohmygod - 20/06/2013 05:49 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

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Anonymous - 28/11/2014 12:16 - Australia

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

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Pierced - 30/05/2017 18:00

Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML

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mee - 02/01/2016 08:25 - United States - Opelousas

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

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Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

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lolajelly 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:24

LMAO i just want to keep up the pattern of starting the comments with LMAO

dang_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 1:09

LMAO! smart kid

Kingrayer 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 3:30

you got told up by a 9 year old. your life sucks

epictothemax 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 3:32

dude my life is ******* epic.

youngboss_fml 2

Friday 14 August 2009 2:28

dont listen to haters. =) just do your thang

TheEpicScrewup 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 3:47

that's priceless OMG. You're poor Grandmother! And I hope your aunt and uncle talk to that stupid babysitter! Who goes down on their boyfriend when a) they're babysitting and b) the kid they babysit for is STILL AWAKE?! That's just ****** up.

amelinat 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 3:55

#18 - if that is a fact then why do straight men get tounge piercings? epictothemax - you are one of only 2 posters that I have seen reply to their FML's, kudos to you for that. I hope your grandma makes a speedy recovery.

X_o_X_ocutie 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 5:40

to satisfy their women DUH

Felling 14

Tuesday 5 March 2013 1:11

Secretly they aren't straight. Duh.

mrcarmine 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 5:32

hahaha i love that you admit that you "like to have fun" as your justification good job!

Callyn 47

Wednesday 11 March 2009 6:41

#24: I wasn't aware that they did. "If a girl has a pierced tounge, she'll probably suck your dick. If a guy has a pierced tounge...he'll probably suck your dick." Chris Rock

tsume24 3

Monday 11 July 2011 3:27

because if chris rock said it, it is true 100% of the time. right?

gregthestrange 3

Wednesday 11 March 2009 6:56

hey OP, you are probably now my favorite FML poster. you actually came to the boards and posted along with us... and that's pretty kick ass. you now have my complete and utter respect

alex_vik 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 7:07

Well, it sounds like she knows why you got the piercing.

commonsense31 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 7:12

Yeah tongue rings in males or females are most likely for oral sex regardless of sexual orientation or maybe they just like talking funny or ruining there teeth hahaha

tsume24 3

Monday 11 July 2011 15:47

really? is that why I DIDN'T get mine done for those reasons and my boyfriend said it didn't do much when I tried it on him anyway? is that why I don't care because I love the jewelry I have in it? and is that why I have no trouble talking whatsoever? jesus christ...how uneducated people are....