Intimacy Good one, Dave, thanks

Good one, Dave, thanks

sasd32 - 06/03/2009 19:51 - United States

Today, I called a potential employer. I left a message asking him to return my call. When he did, my drunk friend answered my phone with, "I make a sexy-time with my mother in-law." I called him back twice immediately to explain. No answer. That was my last hope for a decent job. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Drunken antics

Stilljobless - 19/01/2010 11:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML

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Mr IT - 24/11/2009 01:47 - Sweden

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML

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Thanks mom

Anonymous - 27/01/2017 00:00

Today, I checked my inbox and realized I got an email from a potential employer, saying they were having trouble getting a hold of me by phone. They called while my mom was using my phone to look up directions to a place, and she answered, kindly hanging up when they asked for me. FML

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Probably not

stupid voicemails - 28/04/2013 09:09 - United States - Lahaina

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

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Anonymous - 21/08/2012 16:45 - United States - Lititz

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

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Ignore! Ignore!

Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

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Thanks mom

unemployed - 24/08/2012 18:00 - United States - Alhambra

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

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Aced it

Kanata - 31/08/2019 02:05

Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML

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maddy - 21/01/2009 17:03 - France

Today, I'm looking for a job, and the employer I spoke to by phone was busy, but before hanging up he said "we will call you soon". I still wonder how he plans to do so without even having asked for my number. FML

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How about no?

pocketrocket90 - 08/08/2014 06:05 - Australia - Capalaba

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML

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Flora_fml 6

Friday 6 March 2009 22:57

That totally sucks and I hope you kicked your friend's ass because there's NO excuse for that he did at all!

400382 0

Friday 6 March 2009 22:46

don't give up and keep lookin'

400382 0

Friday 6 March 2009 22:46

don't give up and keep lookin'

VolleyballSMASH 1

Saturday 7 August 2010 17:45

I agree. I'm the mean time, look to places like target, starbucks, a local library, or anyplace really to get some more job experience. If you don't want to do that, you could always go down the the office and explain in person.

adins1997 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 14:54

you probably just had the wrong number, op.

Fails_at_life 0

Friday 6 March 2009 22:53

Your fault for letting your drunk friend answer your phone.

Flora_fml 6

Friday 6 March 2009 22:57

That totally sucks and I hope you kicked your friend's ass because there's NO excuse for that he did at all!

GoatInABag 14

Tuesday 15 April 2014 22:07

Compleatly agree with you.

dihannasaurus 9

Monday 11 July 2016 23:03

Alcohol; Yes there is.

Yunie_fml 0

Friday 6 March 2009 23:00

... why the hell did your drunk friend answer your phone? You should take his job... assuming he has one.

Sleepzsc 0

Friday 6 March 2009 23:14

see you at Mcdonalds!

iJasper 8

Sunday 10 July 2011 20:15

Win!

Tucatz 0

Friday 6 March 2009 23:22

Beatings are in order.

cheeze_fml 0

Friday 6 March 2009 23:27

If one job in all of the entirety of the planet was your last hope at a decent job, you're either overly dramatic or not very skilled. One of those you can fix easily, the other is going to take some work. Which is which? I'll let you decide.

kagome_eb 0

Friday 6 March 2009 23:34

agreed with 7

jhled 0

Friday 6 March 2009 23:39

Now, your phone should've been with you, so I don't get why your friend answered the phone. I only let my girlfriend answer, sometimes. And she doesn't like alcohol. But keep looking. Jobs are hard to find, but I'm sure you can get some. Try looking around in the newspapers or something. I'm sure you'll find something.