Dogs Animals Good boy - FML

Good boy

Anonymous - 26/10/2014 00:51 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 18/02/2011 21:18 - United States

Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML

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shadow - 26/12/2017 08:00 - United States - Osceola

Today, my mother-in-law told my fiancé that I had to leave and wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. I own the house. She’s mad because I locked the door so she couldn't walk in anytime she wanted. FML

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Unstable

emancipate me - 15/05/2016 19:59 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

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I don't know, leave me alone

Anonymous - 07/07/2023 04:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my mom and dad went off somewhere for some alone time together. My mom had apparently turned her phone off and my dad left his at home. In that span of time, my brother had accidentally locked himself out of his house, and my sister was also trying to get a hold of them, and now are asking me where they're at. FML

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Sky - 25/07/2018 01:30

Today, since my parents always told me that I was welcome to come home whenever I want or need, I decided to stop by. They'd changed the locks and wouldn't let me in. FML

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Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

mama bear - 16/10/2019 18:00

Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML

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Anonymous - 17/04/2018 01:30

Today, my husband and I were getting busy on the living room couch when my mother-in-law stopped by and let herself in with a key we didn’t know she had. She then demanded an apology like it was all our fault and stormed out. I still don’t know why she came by. FML

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FatalxDesire599 - 05/03/2010 15:39 - United States

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

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Call the cops

Becca - 29/08/2019 04:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my mother-in-law "borrowed" my dog without asking, to show him off to her friends. My dog is my service animal, and I'm not comfortable leaving the house without him. I have to be at work in an hour, and she's not picking up her phone. FML

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gothchick201013 - 09/09/2016 18:43 - United States - Dayton

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

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Hunthas 17

Sunday 26 October 2014 14:51

Silly mothers! everyone knows dogs only speak french

teentee401 36

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:05

Error 404: Pun not found

brooke1113 2

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:07

That makes them both bitches...

diva239 8

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:08

I love my dog and chat to her. But I don't need to lock anyone out to do that. That's extreme and bizzar!

DArthurVaderian 18

Monday 27 October 2014 4:45

*bizarre

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:11

Doggone it...we need to have a quick talk...

supersquirel500 10

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:13

..."talk"

Paultheouctopus 13

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:14

Are they planning something against you?

gracehi 31

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:22

Sounds like your mom is... BARKING mad! *ba dum tssss*

KyokoSakuraChan 15

Sunday 26 October 2014 22:19

...I don't get it.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Monday 27 October 2014 17:19

#55 Is that the only thing you comment? I've seen you comment that twice on this FML alone...

HappyItalian 38

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:23

"Mr.Ruffers, it's time for you to get a job and move out."

gracehi 31

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:44

It's your dog's name Wilfred?

Allegory_fml 4

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:55

can't believe people think this stuff is real. this website is a joke and it consists of the most gullible people in the world

gracehi 31

Sunday 26 October 2014 16:06

You clearly did not read the rules about commenting. And anyway, it's a silly comedy site. People generally don't concern themselves with the validity of the posts around here. Don't take shit so seriously and maybe you'll enjoy life every now and then.

teentee401 36

Sunday 26 October 2014 16:08

Did you bark and whine at the door till she let you back in?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

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Today, my financial situation is so bad that I had to surrender my beloved calico cat because I can’t take care of her. On top of that, my ex-wife found out and crucified me over it. I’ve been fucked up about it all day, and everything reminds me of my cat. Sorry, baby girl. FML

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Today, I walked in on my wife in bed naked, with a guy I’ve never even heard of. At first she said, “It’s not what it looks like!” I told her I just saw her cheating on me with another man, to which she said, “Oh… it’s exactly what it looks like.” FML

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Today, my co-worker told me that my other co-worker is in the process of getting a divorce. I got really excited because his marriage is very toxic. He overheard me say, "He deserves that divorce!" I meant it in a good way, but I don't think he took it that way. FML

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Today, there's a family reunion in my parents' backyard. I'm not invited because my Mom, Dad, Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents are upset that I'm divorcing my ex-husband. Apparently, trying to kill me doesn't matter since he's funny, always made excellent barbecue chicken in past reunions, and everybody loves him. FML

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Today, for about the tenth time this month, I opened my mouth and was immediately told to, “Shut the fuck up” before I'd actually said anything. FML

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