Embarrassing, Weddings, Inappropriate, Awkward Insulting Go home, you're drunk - FML

Go home, you're drunk

Anonymous - 18/08/2022 00:00

Today, my Orthodox Jewish cousin’s father called his wife’s Reform Jewish family “a bunch of monkey lovers” in his Bat Mitzvah toast. Worst yet, he did basically the same thing at his daughter from his first marriage’s Bat Mitzvah toast, and mentioned this fact in the speech. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

aabadaba - 01/04/2013 05:23 - United States - La Mirada

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

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daughterofanazi - 08/02/2012 05:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML

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porkeater - 16/07/2009 15:02 - United States

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "My mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

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Every dog has its day

bad bad bad bad idea - 28/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Today, I had to very seriously and very slowly explain to my friend why having a bat mitzvah for her dog was a very ignorant and insulting idea. FML

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Free speech

Anonymous - 21/07/2023 10:00

Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML

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derranged - 22/04/2009 18:24 - China

Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

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Pranking hell!

Anonymous - - Canada - Quebec

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

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Colby - 15/11/2013 16:59 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

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Anonymous - 08/11/2014 17:24 - United States - Newtown

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

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ashley - 30/04/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Thursday 18 August 2022 5:52

Why did he get a second chance to make a toast? Let alone get invited. Fool me once, a shanda on you. Fool me twice, a shanda on me!

Hangryko 31

Thursday 18 August 2022 9:09

Why was he invited back!?

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 18 August 2022 5:52

Why did he get a second chance to make a toast? Let alone get invited. Fool me once, a shanda on you. Fool me twice, a shanda on me!

Hangryko 31

Thursday 18 August 2022 9:09

Why was he invited back!?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

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Today, I finally got a job interview, and I thought it went amazing. They were supposed to call me today or tomorrow with the news. Today is also the day that my phone company decided to cut my phone off. FML

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Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

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Today, while eating breakfast with my family, I asked my mother if there was any more scrambled eggs in the skillet because I really felt like having some more. She got mad at me because she thought I'd asked in a sarcastic manner. I wasn't joking. FML

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Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

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Today, and every other day for the past week and a half, I have added a new step to my nightly routine: violently throwing up, just before bed. Fuck you, gallbladder. FML

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