Work Germaphobe

Germaphobe

AFSDALK:AFSDQWE - 23/11/2013 18:33 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

SHAME! SHAME!

Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

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DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

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Emergency

Ethan Sitzes - 25/06/2022 22:00

Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML

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badbowel - 31/01/2018 13:00 - United States - Utica

Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML

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Not now, mate

yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

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blakeintheoffice - 08/08/2012 13:53 - United States

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

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Taylor Page - 19/02/2015 16:24 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

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Username - 21/03/2012 17:10 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

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Anonymous - 06/06/2015 04:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

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gothicvamp93 - 04/01/2015 06:46 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

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Jemm_fml 29

Sunday 24 November 2013 2:53

Frankly, I know how he feels, especially if he once accidentally clogged the toilet before his cute co worker went in afterwards... FML

KasiaLilith 13

Sunday 24 November 2013 3:09

It is not at all uncommon to feel uncomfortable using a public washroom. If I can avoid pooping in a place, where I have to sit for a while and have no idea who sat there before me.. not to mention the inconvenience of stinking up the place or even worse, making noises while there are other people around..

Ambient25 24

Sunday 24 November 2013 6:40

Got a problem? Consult your local politician, at least before I make you walk down the street with 3 shoes. Two on your feet and one in your ass.

shazagurl 11

Sunday 24 November 2013 7:39

I have the exact same phobia. I hold it in for hours if I'm not home

papayeya 18

Sunday 24 November 2013 7:40

I have this Phobia too.. it is hard for me to go to public toilets :S

Girlie7 11

Sunday 24 November 2013 7:49

Lol...did he actually tell you that?he could have just told it was an emergency at home or something like that..

justtheotherguy 12

Sunday 24 November 2013 7:54

He should invest in a portable chemical toilet

Sophie_Hart 9

Sunday 24 November 2013 8:01

Ask for a payrise everytime he asks.

hoffman136 18

Sunday 24 November 2013 8:26

Legit thing lol my husband is the same way. I always laugh at him though

littlekellilee 45

Sunday 24 November 2013 9:20

I can relate, I have that fear. For me, my body normally clogs up if I'm not at home or in a private hotel room, but if there's a "stomach emergency" I usually put headphones in and close my eyes, flushing every ten seconds (it's more a fear of people knowing in my case). However, I would never go home and cause an inconvenience unless I had food poisoning. Camping is a nightmare... I can't even go #1 and usually end up driving back to a real bathroom. I've got issues.