Poopoo peepee, Gross, Roommate Health Genius - FML

Genius

Anonymous - 18/01/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Dude, WTF?

Anonymous - 18/03/2016 20:57 - United States - Valley Stream

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

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owie - 29/08/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, after breaking my leg, I'm unable to put any weight on it whatsoever. Our bedroom? Upstairs. Our only bathroom? Basement. My husband thought it would be a great idea to leave me alone and unable to walk to go babysit his nieces. I had to piss in a bucket. FML

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Splish splash, I was taking a bath

Anonymous - 15/04/2021 13:59 - Canada

Today, my neighbour decided to get high while leaving his bathtub running, resulting in passing out and starting a flood in the hallways. FML

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WTF dude?

MyS3lf - 19/04/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

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SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

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gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

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jdch_99 - 03/11/2012 05:34 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

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Poor little guy

anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

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Average "alternative medicine" enjoyer

- 07/11/2025 09:00

Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML

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Heavenly Shower

deadgrass - 29/03/2012 00:44 - United States - Middletown

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

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stronghand0331 17

Tuesday 18 January 2011 23:07

That's not laziness, that is pure innovation.

IFightFoos 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 23:12

Idiot? That man is a genius!

AmandaDestroys 0

Wednesday 15 June 2011 2:46

haha well he had to get up to get the hose and siphon.

EMOELMO9000 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 6:27

idiot or genius?

Random59 1

Saturday 2 July 2011 4:01

Work smart, not hard. This man is a genius!

Fsqu4red 5

Saturday 20 August 2011 19:05

That's not lazy, thats genius

insert_nam_here 6

Sunday 28 August 2011 5:29

this guys a freakin genius we should all be more like him

Kokara1352 2

Thursday 13 October 2011 4:48

Idiot? he's a genius!

imblack1318 0

Monday 24 October 2011 2:11

That's actually pretty smart

saxplayer9291 3

Sunday 18 December 2011 8:39

Very creative. I give him props

Junkie_Razor 20

Sunday 8 January 2012 8:01

That's not idiocy. It's genius.

mr_bad_ass_ 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 0:55

If this was Facebook I'd give this 1million likes

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

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Today, and for the past week, my dog has started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

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Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML

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Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration, so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize, and I was hit with a big stick. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

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Today, the woman I’ve loved, cared for, and nursed through cancer, left me for her ex since he wants to get married and I don’t. I didn’t know that a piece of paper and a white dress mean more than unconditional love and support. FML

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