Cute Kids Genius - FML

Genius

ohno - 13/07/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied, "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Nose job

pignose - 05/09/2019 02:01

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML

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That's awkward

Dannotmann - 04/05/2021 22:01

Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML

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Wraith - 06/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

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Gross

Anonyme - 26/06/2015 00:40 - France - Géanges

Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML

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Viciousvixen_21 - 02/04/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

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Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

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unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

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Goldmining

Anonymous - 22/09/2021 08:00

Today, about a minute after telling my son not to pick his nose, he caught me picking mine. This has led to a cascade of, "Why should I follow dad's rules when even dad doesn’t follow dad rules?" He now questions everything I tell him, and is breaking every rule in the book to make his point. FML

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jamjamy - 26/12/2008 04:53 - France

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML

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Little angel

Mamaof2 - 11/01/2025 06:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was having dinner with my husband and two toddlers. My two year-old son was being incredibly cute and independently drinking water out of an open cup. I commented on how much I loved him. Two seconds later, he threw said cup with water at my head and started laughing. FML

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YacL 15

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:07

Suddenly, it all makes sense.

krez 20

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:05

I guess you didn't know that already? Your kid is smart!

michellarcila27 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:45

awww thats cute of the kids but u cant blame them there only kids but at the same time that sucks for u

rezzel 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:45

thats awesome i bet ur bosses love them

ahh_forever 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:05

YDI for bringing your young children.

kindlystfupls 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:16

Kids will be kids! If the CEO can't get over that he's a fool!

ChuckNorrisBeard 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:21

they are children...I'm pretty sure that the CEOs of you're company are going to do anything about that. if they did I would be surprised.

juggaletteninja 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:35

you mean you didn't know that??!

mattdm91 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:40

oh stop being a bitch they're just little kids like what do you expect?

ijnek 3

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:58

very smart! be proud geez!

jshicksSN 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 19:31

cute!!!

streborkcim 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 19:35

that's awesome! I bet everyone loved it. your kids are probably more interesting than you, so just go with it.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to a restaurant with my family. My five year old goes under the table and says "Mommy! You forgot to wear underwear!" FML

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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "too clingy". I haven't seen her in over 3 weeks and texted her first once. Guess that's still too much for her. FML

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Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

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Today, I somehow miscounted the steps on the staircase I've used multiple times a day for 20 years, then fell all the way to the bottom. Doctors say I fractured my coccyx, which is basically the ass bone at the bottom of my spine. I can neither sit or lie on my back for at least 6 weeks. FML

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Today, my love life evolved. My wife left me. FML

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Today, after nearly a week of having laryngitis, I was finally able to talk a little again. Then I yelled at my son for leaving his shit all over the living room, strained my throat, and can barely even whisper now. FML

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