Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML 31 980 12 639
Today, my mother called to uninvite me from Christmas, my ex-wife is going and she doesn't want it to be awkward for her. FML 42 317 2 975
Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML 42 549 5 379
Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML 28 105 7 254
Today, I was eating whilst driving. I tried to stop sauce from spilling on the console and instead smashed into a parked car. FML 157 1 602
Today, a nice doctor in his 40s asked me on a date and, despite the age difference, I was thinking about it… until my mom recognised him. He was the trainee doctor who helped me be born 22 years ago. FML 802 152
I vote for Nathan. Don't get why he had to stop in the middle. Major facepalm ?
Jake all the way!