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Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


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    FML's Showdown #13

    By Louis - 14/06/2017 21:30

    Another selection of contenders for this week's crown, with this time bad dance moves coming under close scrutiny.
    I agree, your life sucks 623
    You deserved it 187
    Share  
    Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
    Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…
    Previous FML Next FML

    Top comments

    sunkissedfreckle 15
    Friday 16 June 2017 14:46

    Alyssa

    1 0
    RichardPencil 30
    Thursday 15 June 2017 0:39

    Alyssa

    0 0

    Comments

    mike3775 36
    Wednesday 14 June 2017 21:31

    #1

    0 1
    Dreamer5393 21
    Wednesday 14 June 2017 23:17

    #2

    0 1
    RichardPencil 30
    Thursday 15 June 2017 0:39

    Alyssa

    0 0
    sunshine1421 14
    Thursday 15 June 2017 0:58

    all of the above... #1 should have know better though

    0 0
    Michael Frederick 7
    Thursday 15 June 2017 4:56

    #1...Dee ?? ???

    1 1
    IAmClay 24
    Thursday 15 June 2017 18:41

    Alyssa

    0 0
    Talented73 54
    Thursday 15 June 2017 18:59

    Livi

    0 0
    earljonez 22
    Friday 16 June 2017 6:52

    I'd pound the shit outta Dee

    0 0
    sunkissedfreckle 15
    Friday 16 June 2017 14:46

    Alyssa

    1 0
    RAS266 6
    Sunday 18 June 2017 6:12

    Dee....ouch...

    0 0
    • 1
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    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, a lady at the clothing store told me to, “Stop speaking 'Mexicano', this is America!” when I was talking on the phone. I actually speak Portuguese. When I pointed this out, she verbally tortured me and threatened to, “Call the cops” if I didn’t leave her store for, “making her feel threatened.” FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 305
    You deserved it 182
    Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 677
    You deserved it 303
    Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 50 947
    You deserved it 5 875
    Today, my friend and I went to a tacky-themed party. She was wearing orange faux snake stilettos. I commented, "Those are perfect for tonight, where'd you manage to find such hideous shoes?" It turns out she wears those shoes all the time, the color just matched her outfit. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 13 634
    You deserved it 44 530
    Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 7 942
    You deserved it 37 582
    Today, while working a night shift completely alone at a truck stop, a trucker asked me to get in the shower with him for a "funner night shift", and threw his towels and clothes at me when I told him no. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 197
    You deserved it 67
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