Health FitBitch - FML

FitBitch

Anonymous - 22/02/2015 16:09 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

TheRunaway21 - 06/04/2015 20:49 - United States

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

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Casual ableism

CrippledFatty - 01/11/2022 01:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was yet again chastised for using a wheelchair, since, "Obesity isn't a disability." I'm 46 with lipedema, and lost my ability to walk 13 years ago. FML

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Crippled - 27/12/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

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Anonymous - 07/09/2018 22:00

Today, my lazy, obese mother took the last motor cart at the grocery store. My leg is in a cast. She told me to "use the shopping cart to help with the limp" as she rolled away. FML

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bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

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Anonymous - 22/08/2019 17:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I've used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML

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Weight watcher

depressedkiwi - 15/07/2020 08:01

Today, I found out my mother-in-law is trying to force me to lose weight, even though I am trying, and have a medical condition. FML

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Charming

FootyFoot - - Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied, "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

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Heavy load

Anonymous - 18/05/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom is mad at me because, at her insistence, I got a company to install a stairlift for her due to the pain in her legs, and after buying it and getting it installed, it turns out she’s too obese for it. It can carry me and Dad, but with her it just makes a grinding noise and refuses to move. FML

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Make the day about me!

Anonymous - 21/08/2020 06:02 - United States - Roy

Today, at my wedding, my grandmother special requested a wheelchair, even though she doesn’t and never has needed any kind of assistance walking or standing at all. FML

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nix1993 41

Sunday 22 February 2015 21:12

For her birthday send her mens clothing, like socks, boxer shorts shirts etc. but take out the labels and make sure they wouldn't fit her husband.

vikky538 28

Sunday 22 February 2015 21:09

there's a reason people call mother-in-law a monster...

dragonvale19 12

Monday 23 February 2015 5:08

Im gonna guess hes joking

weaslette_fml 7

Monday 23 February 2015 5:21

didn't mean to down vote

msmedieval 11

Monday 23 February 2015 5:39

What a bitch! It's not like you can control the wheelchair issue. Sorry OP :(

Sheepalicious 20

Monday 23 February 2015 5:43

Send her anti aging cream.

berkeleyjake 13

Monday 23 February 2015 6:31

send her the book, "how not to be an asshole" you can get it on Amazon. it might also be called "how not to be a dick" I can't remember which. might be both, in which case, get her both.

ally8 21

Monday 23 February 2015 6:48

Should've gotten you an odometer to track your miles... No a pedometer!

kiddobee 4

Monday 23 February 2015 9:09

Send her a glitter bomb. Nothing says **** you like a glitter bomb.

toowie_fml 20

Monday 23 February 2015 9:34

Could you put it on your arm? It could be interesting to see how much you can get up to while working those muscles

albertozeta_fml 9

Monday 23 February 2015 10:24

And what did your wife say?

dope_mcfly 24

Monday 23 February 2015 11:58

You should mail her a ***** so she can go **** herself. What a wretched woman.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, during an 8 hour shift at a very busy bowling alley, I found out I can't trust a fart anymore. I'm only 25. Now I have to finish my shift commando, and also get rid of the evidence without anyone noticing. FML

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Today, despite the schedule saying I was off, I found out I’m supposed to be working because my boss changed the schedule without my knowledge. FML

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Today, I took a polygraph. The interviewer was mad at the way I was breathing and looking down once instead of straight ahead. The third test I started crying because he raised his voice, saying I was disrespecting his time. I was trying so hard but couldn't breathe with the equipment on, leaving my mind blank. FML

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Today, I found out that the coworker I’d been crushing on told me he was gay so I wouldn’t hit on him anymore. Turns out he did that so he could focus on wooing a female coworker of mine. They’re now dating. FML

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Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

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Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML

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