Embarrassing, Food Miscellaneous Feed me and shut up

Feed me and shut up

a fatty -

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Fatass - 18/04/2014 05:37 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

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Well played

FUCK THE PIGS - 26/01/2013 20:44 - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

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Freeloader

Anonymous - 15/10/2025 12:00

Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML

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All mine

Anonymous - 12/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, feeling generous, I bought a dozen donuts for my coworkers. Instead, I ended up taking them into my office and eating all of them in the first hour. FML

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I'm so sorry... - 01/03/2017 16:00

Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML

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Anonymous - 24/05/2011 04:38

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

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The customer is always an ass

muffins - - United States - Potomac

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

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Anonymous - 29/07/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my co-worker offered me sweets, then chocolate and then biscuits. Repeatedly. She knows I'm trying to diet for my wedding. She does this every day. FML

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mee - 22/01/2013 18:49 - United States - Peabody

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

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Who am I?

Carrie - 27/12/2025 22:00

Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML

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allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:10

"Today, I'm afraid to admit to someone I don't know that I enjoy good food. FML" Good lord, if you're that ashamed of it, I'll take that second pastry. ****, I'll even take both of them.

jangalianxi 6

Tuesday 15 February 2011 12:09

why lie? just say you enjoy a tasty treat.

postoso 20

Thursday 20 October 2011 4:35

Two pastries....? FATASS

nicholasj96 9

Thursday 27 December 2012 17:26

Hey, No shame in being a fat ass.

Attica 20

Sunday 24 February 2013 22:36

Maybe she was trying to figure out if you were single?

kylehimself 5

Friday 8 November 2013 22:50

Fatty

cartedor 18

Monday 15 September 2014 0:53

hehe :D

Chibicase 19

Saturday 7 February 2015 19:50

Why would she ask you that, its like begging for something awkward to happen

herpderp1234 17

Wednesday 5 August 2015 2:35

Why be embarrassed? Do not let her think little of you! You are your own person, OP! You control your life, not someone else! Eat both pastries with pride!