Intimacy DUDE! WTF?

DUDE! WTF?

imanidiot - 03/03/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML

32 277

152 518

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

You OK in there?

fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

1 868

310

suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

15 137

41 001

mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

34 191

4 722

Anonymous - 20/08/2015 17:25 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

24 097

2 850

someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

33 366

4 035

tvaladie - 17/04/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

43 163

350 516

Move!

Anonymous - 10/11/2010 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

9 603

54 300

Hello hello hello

Bonnie and Clyde - 08/05/2015 02:18 - United States - Humble

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

36 167

9 392

Kinda sus

kmf - 10/08/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML

47 183

14 411

TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

14 202

3 566

imversatile 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:02

How in the world did you think nobody would see you?? Doesn't your car have windows like the rest of us?

Sora_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:12

lmao, shoulda told him that it itched, you were just scratching. Or ask if he wanted to join in.

mikelc 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 20:42

Fairly dumb, since there's so much traffic around. Not the worst idea on it's own if you can manage it. You might want to pull over on on some desolate side street and park where there is the least amount of lighting. Or, do it on a straightaway on the Alaska Highway.

missprincess05 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 1:59

Oh my god. Why would u put a pic of yourself nude??? Oh yeah cover up your penis like it helps! Some kids go on this. No one wants to see your itty bitty ok dude! Ps ur as ugly as hell so go show it off to your mom not the Internet pervert!! Pps get a gf oh wait u can't! Haha

Sean123 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 21:30

thank you #16 its not like you were walking down the street doin it and so wat like the police man is going to complain and ask you not to do it again

dumkopf0 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 21:33

this is stupid.

mariposa93 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 21:42

I don't understand everyone saying "that's disgusting." You must lead incredibly boring lives. I've done it several times. Never STOPPED in traffic though. You don't become invisible in your car. It's definitely easier for us girls though.

Brainnnnz 19

Wednesday 20 August 2014 20:24

I'm sure it is.

Kyothine 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 21:43

BeautyAndBrains 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 22:08

LOL, you have guts girl! Hopefully you won't get into too much trouble.

egaonogenki 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 22:14

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD GET ON THE INTERNET FROM JAIL!!!!!!!!!! Or you hid your mobile phone when they processed you and are texting from your cell, right???