Intimacy DUDE! WTF?

DUDE! WTF?

imanidiot - 03/03/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

You OK in there?

fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

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suzanneallen - 11/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

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mentallyscarred - 31/01/2011 09:34 - United States

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

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Anonymous - 20/08/2015 17:25 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML

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someoneneedsassistance - 24/04/2015 15:07 - United States - Woodford

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

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tvaladie - 17/04/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

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Move!

Anonymous - 10/11/2010 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

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Hello hello hello

Bonnie and Clyde - 08/05/2015 02:18 - United States - Humble

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML

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Kinda sus

kmf - 10/08/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We started going at it and we were both butt naked when I saw a car pull into the lot. Not only was it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asked my girlfriend was, "Are you being held against your will?" FML

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TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

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imversatile 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:02

How in the world did you think nobody would see you?? Doesn't your car have windows like the rest of us?

Sora_fml 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:12

lmao, shoulda told him that it itched, you were just scratching. Or ask if he wanted to join in.

SurVivOr_429 0

Monday 6 April 2009 19:28

thats funny.. cuz i gave my boyfriend head while he was driving and when we stopped at red lights i wud pop my head up and go back to business... i never got caught... LMAO SUX FOR YOU!!... and i was all naked in the passanger seat while i was showin off to all the truck drivers on the highway up to Erie, PA...i had many truckers follow us up there... LOL

bandeek 30

Wednesday 24 October 2012 2:57

you seem really proud of yourself.. and i'm not sure why.

jj505_fml 0

Friday 10 April 2009 5:44

lol #3 how did u know the cop waz a guy he never said what it was SEXEST rofl jk

madelinex 0

Monday 13 April 2009 3:03

LOL, well, i hope you enjoy masturbating. (Y)

lifepwn 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 16:41

Why is everybody assuming that it's a guy, and the cop is a guy too? Girls do ********** also. I think its sad to assume its a guy.

dontcare804 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 21:23

Did you ask if you could finish first?

hotshot977 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 17:54

Were you arrested for carjacking?

ChrisCrimson 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:58

Carjacking is bad man.

ChrisCrimson 0

Friday 17 April 2009 6:11

I wonder how this will hold up in court? I was driving northbound on route 69 with my partner Joe when i had the opportunity to observe the defendant "Yanking his crank." At a traffic intersection. After approaching him i was greeted with a "SLOB ON MY NOB OFFICER?" I was compelled to saying no. He did not have his license on him, but now everyone knows why he drives such a big car.