Sex, Drunk Intimacy Drunken antics

Drunken antics

Screwed - 22/04/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly, "You need to work on that." We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said, "You need to work on not farting in your sleep." FML

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Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

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Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

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whereismyprince? - 18/12/2013 17:01 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

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Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

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blackntangirl - 18/07/2009 23:31 - United States

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

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Sounds like quite the catch

Brooke - 14/08/2015 16:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred, "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

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anon - 27/07/2015 04:43 - United States

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

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Love is love

Anonymous - 27/03/2022 01:59

Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML

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bobin - 29/08/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

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Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

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ffpoisongirl 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 23:15

Come on honey, never insult a guy about his downstairs mixup. He'll lash out. No offense, but YDI.

LuckyCharms_fml 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 23:14

He was just pissed off his junk was malfunctioning

stevenpicachu 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 10:10

problem will be solved if he puts his dick in ur ass

taquito6 0

Friday 1 May 2009 6:22

ouch... well is like that kids book "everyone farts" ... too bad he was a looser...

mustlovemarvin 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 4:43

Hon, you don't ever put down a guy's equipment, he's human he has an ego.

Dude92 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 6:27

omg thats so funny but honey you got ****** by a dick. no pun intended.

noclevername 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 14:11

I initially clicked YDI because that was kind of bitchy and unnecessary. But when some guys can't get hard, it's the woman's job to fix that, which can get pretty frustrating. If he was being annoying, though, should've asked him to leave. Nothing wrong with picking up guys in bars, either, as long as you're careful. #44: not really. Guys are less choosy than girls, tbh. Girls mighn't have slept with a certain guy if he hadn't gotten her blind drunk, but a lot of guys would because hey, sex is sex.

Stuffman0027 0

Friday 8 May 2009 23:37

at least he got it up :(

abu3mair 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 0:30

owned!

Towl 0

Monday 11 May 2009 11:56

YDI for making dude think about his broken penis all night while droppin bombs in his face. #72 passing gas in your sleep is not normal. if you let it rip anytime, instead of holding it in like girls do, you wouldn't be napalming the person sleeping next to you.