Don't Touch My Fries By FML Approved - 22/10/2017 04:00 These aren't beetles... This is Sparta! I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 124 Share Tweet Share
Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 115 You deserved it 5 195
Today, I found out that my promotion had been rescinded and given to someone else, all because I was on a pre-approved vacation. According to my boss, they need someone who's "committed to the company" for the position, and gave me a lecture on how if I keep being "lazy" and "unmotivated" I'll never get ahead. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 159 You deserved it 116
Today, while driving to work, I really took in the scenery. Not for the beauty, but for the practicality and access for the best place to commit suicide. I disregarded one place because it would be too hard to wash away the blood. At least when I'm suicidal, I'm thoughtful about it… FML I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 209
Today, during lunch, I said, "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on." One of the guys present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying, "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman." Which was also the case. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 639 You deserved it 10 235
Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss's sink. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 099 You deserved it 4 842
Today, I got a splinter in my shop class. The teacher dug at it with tweezers for a while, then told me that my best bet would be to wait until the wound got infected and formed a bunch of pus around the splinter to force it out. It's in my dominant hand's palm. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 931 You deserved it 1 119