Poopoo peepee Animals Don't call the cops

Don't call the cops

Elizabeth - - United States

Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

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Fresh air

Ceecee - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

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lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

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Handful

Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

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Pick it up

Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

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Surprise!

AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

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mhmohyeah - 10/11/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

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Can't see for shit

Anonymous - 09/11/2020 14:02

Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML

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themanzz - 08/10/2010 12:08 - Canada

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

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gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

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may_cause_fail 0

Monday 27 April 2009 3:29

Well, you were wearing shoes. WEREN'T YOU? I'd hardly call this an FML.

applecake 0

Monday 9 March 2009 9:36

I did the pinecone-crushing thing too; but stepped on a banana slug and slipped.

NoWayLady 13

Wednesday 31 March 2010 6:15

EPIC FAIL!!!!

Justforlolz 14

Wednesday 14 July 2010 0:26

Lol maybe it was hardened. Sucks.

isaiaha11 2

Thursday 22 July 2010 7:37

its called wipe it off

austin9512 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 10:00

this goes on failblog

zukinihudini 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 0:25

thats what shoes are for

bluegoldfish 7

Sunday 27 March 2011 20:36

that kind of sucks, but at the same time, what kind of a weird habit is acorn crushing?

Angel21102 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 7:46

Big whoop. Everyones gonna step in dog poop once in a while. Deal with it.

Bekavera 4

Saturday 17 September 2011 15:53

And you couldn't tell the difference? Dumbass... lol

dhiran_singh 16

Monday 12 December 2011 12:24

Roasted nuts lol xD

kittytub 12

Sunday 11 November 2012 16:08

those poor squirrels, how will they eat. :(

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, at work, a guy tried to buy me for a dollar. I've only been there a week and it's the third time it's happened. FML

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Today, I got into a major fight with my parents over my younger brother stealing from me. Their response was to get angry at me for my "tone" with them. My brother is 18 with an obvious drug problem, but my tone is the problem. FML

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Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML

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Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML

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Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

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Today, the drive-thru lady at Taco Bell broke my debit card and tried to hide it by wrapping it in a receipt. FML

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