Love, Sex, Cheating, Jealousy Suspicious Do you guys even talk to one another? - FML

Do you guys even talk to one another?

Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:00

Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Was it worth it?

Anonymous - 20/05/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife has been super into sex lately, she even let me try some of the stuff she said no to before, and even surprised me with some of the kinky stuff she’s always wanted to try. Sounds great, right? Nope. Turns out she was overcompensating from the guilt of also fucking my coworker. FML

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All kinds of wrong

Anonymous - 10/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

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Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

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Chapter and verse

Anonymous - 29/12/2015 14:15

Today, I found out my wife has been taking "Love thy neighbour" very literally with the bloke next door. FML

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good husband - 30/04/2013 16:03 - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

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stanDman - 19/01/2009 18:05 - Canada

Today, I was jerking off when my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes… that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

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idiot says pussy - 21/01/2014 17:43 - United States

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

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How very dare you?

Anonymous - 04/05/2021 02:01

Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML

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Right in the pecker

Anonymous - 28/01/2021 23:01

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML

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Kinky but risky

Anonymous - 02/09/2022 22:00

Today, during a family visit, my wife pulled me into the bedroom and told me to talk dirty to her, while there was a risk of being caught. It's her kink, not mine. Her sister must have overheard us because I woke up in hospital. She thought I was secretly abusive and brained me with my own walking cane. FML

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MidnaLink 33

Monday 14 August 2023 20:20

To be angry is one thing. This bitch is PSYCHO!

spinningrecords 14

Monday 14 August 2023 20:52

Sounds like a crime, prosecute and divorce her.

MidnaLink 33

Monday 14 August 2023 20:20

To be angry is one thing. This bitch is PSYCHO!

spinningrecords 14

Monday 14 August 2023 20:52

Sounds like a crime, prosecute and divorce her.

cuz803 44

Monday 14 August 2023 23:14

Divorce her abusive ass. She sexually assaulted you and assumed you cheated without proper reasoning. She's toxic and a piece of shit.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 15 August 2023 0:58

So we're supposed to believe you're not a GILF hunter?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

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Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

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Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

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Today, I managed to stop my supervisor from falling into a trench, only for the ground to give way and for me to fall in instead. My supervisor didn't even notice. FML

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Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

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Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML

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