Intimacy Dirty talk

Dirty talk

unlucky_number13 - 14/07/2009 09:41 - United States

Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Thorough check

Anonymous - 24/01/2014 23:34 - United States - Akron

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. FML

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Classy

dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

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anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

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Cassie - 21/05/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

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Smell test

smellybelly - - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years-old. FML

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Good impressions last

icarlypoop - 11/04/2020 23:00

Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML

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Steamy

Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

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Anonymous - 20/10/2013 19:56 - United States - West Babylon

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

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marsbar - 15/03/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

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tinytitty - 23/03/2009 03:18 - United States

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML

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henri_fml 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:03

did you tell him you were saving it to make a blanket for winter?

vein 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 16:03

Ew, thats really gross. Take a bath. :(

veganphotog 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 23:53

What kind of clothes do you wear? Bellybutton lint, wtf?

Rikki_Cares 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 23:57

at least he said it can continue

robodoll 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 0:05

Ewww WTF

stryder 1

Wednesday 15 July 2009 0:20

favorited

LaurenKate 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 1:32

Take a bath, sister. O_o; YDI

beaniebabe 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 1:35

ewww

myofb 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 1:46

"We'll continue this" is a rain check, m'dear.

rinnychan 2

Wednesday 15 July 2009 3:06

People get belly button lint even if they shower every day. I have it too---I just dont think to check the damn belly button!

painislife 2

Wednesday 15 July 2009 3:14

Jeez clean yourself woman!!!!!!!!!!

dyingstart 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 3:27

damn, i was hoping this story would have ended in him giving her a raspberry. if you kiss his belly in the future, be sure to give him some shit about the condition of his belly button.