Miscellaneous Depressing - FML

Depressing

bymyself - 07/02/2011 02:05

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

I'm so tired

Raven - 18/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML

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Everyone loves a weepie

CheeseAndCrackers - 30/04/2020 08:00

Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML

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badcook - 24/09/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML

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Kamburgler - 02/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

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jenni6488 - 22/02/2012 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

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Idktbh - 18/11/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, when I finished helping a customer, she said, “Thanks cutie!” When I thanked her she giggled and said, “I just like making people smile, plus I bet you don’t get called that often!” FML

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JohhnyKeroscene - 01/02/2012 12:21 - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

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Ser17 - 10/08/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

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Take the L

Anonymous - 11/03/2023 00:00

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As I was leaving, the receptionist told me to "have a nice day" and I replied, "You too, love you!" then I went back home and roasted in the embarrassment for an hour or two. FML

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Lola - 20/12/2008 12:23 - France

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

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Doortje 29

Monday 7 February 2011 8:51

My microwave doesn't even say that :( Be happy you have a little buddy OP.

banana_buddy 6

Monday 7 February 2011 8:50

smart microwave =)

Alicia24_fml 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:20

I wish mine said that.

dansco 24

Tuesday 8 February 2011 5:57

Who cares fatty!!

dragster_fml 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:45

nice microwave!

technochik3 12

Tuesday 8 February 2011 8:06

omg! ive never even heard of a microwave that says that... that's freakin awesome!

xlil_miss_emo_x 6

Tuesday 8 February 2011 8:07

haha my microwave just beeps really long untill you open the ****** lol and i've had a day like that before. But i havent had one in years. But atleast it's not like the worst day of your life :)

katy513 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 8:21

maybe if you ask a question and then shake it, it'll be like a dual purpose magic eight ball!

BendyStraw 6

Tuesday 8 February 2011 14:44

At least it's courteous. :)

tdwpmaniac 0

Wednesday 9 February 2011 19:13

aww thats sad :/ have a nice day :)

graceless_monkey 0

Friday 11 February 2011 18:49

My microwave just says "your food is ready" and beeps impatiently at me if I don't go and get it.

Argueta 0

Monday 14 February 2011 1:57

LOL WELL HOPE YOU HAVE BETTER DAYS....LMAO

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

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Today, at my wedding, my golden child brother gave a speech that was a load of lying shite. He was telling tales of arrests, drug use, sexual antics, the lot. My wife knows it’s not true but her family think I’m scum, and my mother just told me she’s “not angry, just disappointed in me.” FML

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Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

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Today, I went out in public for the first time since getting new glasses. I was mistaken for Jeff Goldblum at least a dozen times. The first few times it was amusing, but now I can see why being famous is such a headache sometimes. FML

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Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML

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Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

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