Demon Spooked - - United States Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself last night was my sister's Furby that she'd stuck in the closet. FML 42 948 7 281
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML 31 999 7 120
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML 11 416 1 528
Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML 81 265 5 225
Today, I had the vasectomy my wife wanted. We're living 700 miles apart due to work, so any immediate benefit is not so immediate. Worse, I didn't even get a good luck message before the premiere of the Nutcracker Prince. Now, time for Netflix and no chill. FML 1 106 438
Today, I got called into my manager’s office for wearing “leggings.” They weren’t leggings, they were work pants with a straight leg. I said to her that the other girls wear them in the office. She told me, "But they have a slim figure, you're on the pudgier side and it looks bad. No offense.” FML 1 858 298
Today, I found an injured rabbit by the side of the road. I was about to take it to the local vet, when my husband picked it up and casually snapped its neck. "No rabbit's worth my money" he said, forgetting that he's been a jobless moocher for over 3 years. Pass me the goddamn divorce papers. FML 19 972 2 647
Hahahahaha I did this to my parents but in their car they didn't find it for weeks!!!!
if she did that on purpose, your sister is awesome