Friends, Roommate Awkward Cuddle time

Cuddle time

Anonymous - 12/12/2013 08:51 - Australia - Donvale

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

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theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

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Painful

stupid drunk bitch - 24/02/2016 18:37 - United States - Cobleskill

Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML

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Anonymousse - 13/11/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

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Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

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The language of love

disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

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Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

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burritobreasts - 15/10/2014 06:27

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

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Anonymous - 27/04/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

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Great date

okthen - 10/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years… by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML

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Roomies

anonymous - 15/06/2011 18:00 - Canada

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

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Xiktyr 5

Thursday 12 December 2013 15:57

Uhh.. switch rooms, man.

jayray313 21

Thursday 12 December 2013 16:00

Sounds like your roommate has a crush on you. He only acts on it when the alcohol lowers his inhibitions.

jackrreaper117 6

Friday 13 December 2013 1:20

Is OP a man or woman? -_- ...it makes a difference

cna1216 15

Friday 13 December 2013 2:12

I dont think he was actually drunk then...

KR12T3N 15

Friday 13 December 2013 5:02

It's always the writers

christian2234 15

Friday 13 December 2013 10:19

Just... Why.....

cypherwars 15

Friday 13 December 2013 14:10

dude he needs a support group.

cloud1138 10

Friday 13 December 2013 16:10

Sounds like something I'd do after 5 boilermakers

Fang713 28

Friday 13 December 2013 22:58

I ship it.

KingreX32 21

Sunday 15 December 2013 13:54

What. The. ****.

tbenson0628 14

Sunday 15 December 2013 17:37

That sounds like a boys love novel

Hurmbifrum 14

Sunday 15 December 2013 21:28

Dude, it really sounds like time to get a new roommate. Go talk to your counselor, or just spontaneously move out. A box on the side of the road may honestly be more comfortable than spooning with your assumedly same-sex roommate.