Money: Crime wave - FML

Crime wave

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to Super Glue a couple of quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 541

You deserved it 101 448

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Same thing different taste

By fml - 25/04/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 011

You deserved it 61 081

By Sam - 26/09/2011 11:46 - Australia

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 280

You deserved it 35 108

By aianmoo16 - 01/05/2016 21:52 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a mini arcade and accidentally put a hundred dollar bill through the quarter machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 451

You deserved it 9 215

By Criminal - 13/07/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 943

You deserved it 49 413

Too good to be true

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Lafayette

Today, I was walking when I saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realized a kid was laying them out in a trail. I'd collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 075

You deserved it 22 159

By Anonymous - 21/06/2019 20:00

Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 014

You deserved it 197

Grab it while you can

By Arabian_Soap - 31/05/2021 16:01 - Australia - Mermaid Beach

Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 1 219

By iblamethetories - 11/10/2012 17:49 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 862

You deserved it 4 871

By quarterback - 23/01/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 119

You deserved it 44 633

By ethawesome1125 - 03/11/2014 00:11 - United States - Round Rock

Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 512

You deserved it 7 501

Next

Top comments

tick_tock 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:06

Haha, that's hilarious. But yes, you deserved it I'm afraid.

KEVINPASH 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:20

Street Patrol? you must live in the hood.

Comments

BobbysBaby 3

Sunday 1 April 2012 4:11

you are an ass.

roshae_16 11

Friday 15 June 2012 2:30

Dumb ass

chuksnwali 34

Sunday 27 April 2014 22:36

You kinda deserved it.

Jarl_the_Elite 27

Thursday 3 July 2014 7:46

Did you put it face down?

amberdea404 28

Saturday 7 November 2015 6:22

Karma is a bitch

potatostarsforus 12

Monday 11 April 2016 5:29

The number of "deserved it"s is whats funny XD

randybryant799 20

Monday 21 June 2021 15:27

Wow. This is how you amuse yourself?

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Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 612

You deserved it 3 294

Today, while trying to get my boss to reconsider laying off much of my department, I accidentally convinced him to lay me off too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 996

You deserved it 6 153

Today, the maintenance man for my apartment “fixed” my toilet from constantly running. Now it won’t flush. I learned this after I took a huge dump. My boyfriend was over to spend the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 191

You deserved it 250

Today, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend I still love, and his new girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. Embarrassingly, she was wearing the same top as me. However hers was in size 6, unlike my 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 514

You deserved it 18 795

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a really stubborn pimple. By the time I felt the cartilage rip, it was too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 1 130

Today, I received an angry phone call from a friend whose birthday party I missed last night. Yesterday, I gave birth to my son. She claims that I ruined her party and demands I still bring her a birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 137

You deserved it 602