Cooking Health Cooked - FML

Cooked

peterpan - 23/02/2010 12:54 - Germany

Today, I was making schnitzel at our kitchen so I had to get rid of all the oil. So I decided it would be best to put the hot pan on our porch so the oil would cool down and then I could get rid of it. Unfortunately the ground is sealed with tar, so the tar melted and now the pan is stuck to the ground. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Slippery when wet

anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

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Kitchen nightmares

Anonymous - 19/09/2021 00:30 - Australia - Mypolonga

Today, I dropped my phone in the frying pan whilst cooking my steak. I had to rinse off the oil immediately and clean the phone, then had to eat a cold steak. FML

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fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

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HarvestMoon_gal - 24/07/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

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MOVE!

Btdtgts - 25/03/2017 14:00

Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML

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bip - 15/12/2008 05:36 - France

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

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Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

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burned - 04/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML

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SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

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Incinerate

Laurence - 07/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, while cooking dinner, I managed to set my oven mitt on fire. In my panic, I tried to throw it in the sink, but it landed on a stack of t-shirts, which were lying on the counter. Both the mitt and my favorite Sonic Youth t-shirt now have matching burn holes. FML

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NeonWar__ 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 20:12

Hows about you just heat it up again and lift it off?

jesir60541 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 20:18

why didnt you just leave it on the stove?

Flour_fml 0

Friday 26 February 2010 18:39

The bright side is that when summer comes you'll be all ready to fry that egg on the sidewalk.

jbadvocacy 2

Monday 1 March 2010 7:01

YDI for not paying attention

isthisanfml 0

Monday 10 May 2010 0:24

you are retarded

aidanawesome 0

Tuesday 29 June 2010 4:46

rada rada

IsntThislovely 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 19:37

haha i love the name "peterpan: hahhah

EmmyRahh 5

Saturday 25 September 2010 17:33

idiot...

zombiedoll 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 3:58

What a 'sticky' situation you're in! I suppose the porch was reluctant to lose its new comPANion. God I'm full of fail. :D

AnagenisisZagus 13

Friday 11 February 2011 6:29

I love you Snickerdoodles!

FUGYU 2

Monday 21 February 2011 12:18

76, tell me something I don't know

Weedfighter 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 17:01

ydi for making schnitzel with oil

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got my report card. My teacher gave me an F, and under class comments she gave me a U for unsatisfactory. So I got an F U from my teacher. FML

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Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML

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Today, I accidentally bumped into the fire alarm which set off a high pitched buzzing noise that could be heard throughout the entire dorm. It went on for at least two hours and none of the technicians could figure out how to turn it off. All the girls on my floor are mad at me. FML

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Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML

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Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

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Today, I got home and I was feeling horny so I leapt on my boyfriend, except he had just got home from a 16-hour day and was too tired. After his nap, he was horny but by that time I was way too tired and no longer horny. This is ridiculous, we can’t even get laid even though we live together. FML

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