Love, Poopoo peepee, Awkward Health Compromising situation

Compromising situation

anonymous - 16/07/2011 13:18 - Canada

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper, we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset, so I politely asked where the bathroom was so I could "powder my nose;" After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Joe Bidet

tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

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Denial

Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

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FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

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Paranoid

Anonymous - 31/12/2014 18:12 - Australia

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

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oops - 30/07/2012 00:25 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

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shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

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Deal breaker

frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

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Time to flee the crime scene

Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

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arse of fire :( - 23/02/2013 00:31 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

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Gross out competition

shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

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Lauren10102 3

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:41

Climb out the window... NOW

FMLandurstoo 9

Saturday 16 July 2011 19:45

so you're posting the FML from the toilet?

Wynthos 2

Sunday 17 July 2011 2:05

When does "powdering your nose" ever actually mean powdering your nose?

manbizzle 1

Monday 18 July 2011 2:52

checking your make-up. taking a bathroom break.

leemurcat 5

Sunday 17 July 2011 2:16

I thought the sarcasm was obvious enough, but I dunno, maybe it's normal for people to comment seriously on FML about their fondness of bowel movements.

dat_boy 3

Sunday 17 July 2011 2:41

sounds like the date was shitty!

miz66independent 1

Sunday 17 July 2011 3:18

Sounds like you have a coke problem, ma'am.

babz1591 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 3:21

damn right there is a test of your relationship lol if he still with you it's love lmao

lisha88 1

Sunday 17 July 2011 3:29

start bringing tissue with you because u never know when ppl run out

SleepOnStones 5

Monday 18 July 2011 7:13

Good point about not knowing when people are gonna run out, but do you honestly see anyone carrying it with them? Imagine this: "Hey, Sarah, this bathroom stall is outta toilet paper!" "Oh don't worry, Jessica. I got some with me in my purse." *hands Jessica the toilet paper*