Intimacy Communication tool

Communication tool

Anonymous - 10/10/2012 21:48 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

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chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

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Revealing

kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

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Body horror

Pierced - 17/07/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband came home with his dick pierced. I shrieked in horror and told him to get it away from me. He's now sulking that I won't indulge his weird impulse and am refusing sex until he removes the piercing. FML

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anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

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Shameless

lying fuck! - 22/06/2020 14:02

Today, I walked into my husband's office and accidentally interrupted his business call to tell him dinner was ready. Silly me, I didn’t realize his "business call" included Skyping with his topless ex, with his pants down. FML

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Mama's Boy

Anonymous - 08/03/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

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Nomoresandwish - 29/11/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

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Eskyew - 23/07/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

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jess - 24/12/2018 04:00

Today, I decided to go home and apologise to my husband for accusing him of having an affair. I came home to find him having sex with my mother. FML

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kyat288 9

Thursday 11 October 2012 9:05

Wow, what a dick

SaturnV 25

Thursday 11 October 2012 9:05

Kind of a dick move on his part if you ask me.

natalia18oo 12

Thursday 11 October 2012 19:40

Ahh your poor mom! She will forever be scarred thanks to your dick of a husband!! But it is kinda your own fault for ignoring him so!!

Googolman 29

Thursday 11 October 2012 22:42

No pun intended?

jc95sd 3

Thursday 11 October 2012 19:53

I can't even think of a way to make fun of you for this...

wvcheesehead 13

Thursday 11 October 2012 20:24

Could you not hear him coming?

Drostvorn 4

Thursday 11 October 2012 21:35

Why so many uptight? I'd love my wife to stick any part of her on any part of me *almost* any time!

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 11 October 2012 22:00

Don't you just love Skype?!

narasjbhs 1

Thursday 11 October 2012 22:15

Excellent way to grab attention!

Roxas2898 4

Thursday 11 October 2012 22:49

Damn, ether you married the wrong guy or your really not giving him the time of day

dlas 5

Thursday 11 October 2012 22:53

LOL

noisebox 1

Thursday 11 October 2012 23:05

Ya gotta take care of your husband with fifty shades of grey....maybe he wants your mom to join in by trying to show her his dick wad....

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Friday 12 October 2012 1:49

Should've punched him in his hackey sack.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Is this an episode of Your Mom's House?

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Today, I wore press on nails and I work in a very professional setting where my hands are 24/7 visible to our clients. I've had multiple nails go flying off at various inappropriate times and my nail glue has been my BFF for 2 weeks. I had to go buy another nail glue bottle to make it through my second week. FML

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Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

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Today, my girlfriend is mad I won’t indulge her “Sleeping Beauty” fantasy. She doesn’t want me to just kiss her, she wants me to full on fuck her. Call me crazy but I just can’t get it up for a passed out person. Yes it’s consensual, but it just feels uncomfortable. She doesn’t get why I’m not into it. FML

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Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML

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Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML

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